<![CDATA[The <br />Monologue Store - Monologue Mania---a blog with one new free monologue per day]]>Thu, 19 Nov 2015 05:06:17 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Monologue Mania now on blogspot]]>Wed, 18 Nov 2015 17:53:13 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-now-on-blogspotPlease go to ​http://janetstigermonologuemania.blogspot.com/ for the continuation of this blog - up to day # 643 now.  ]]><![CDATA[monologue mania is continuing only on http://janetstigermonologuemania.blogspot.com/     thank you!   monologue mania day # 287 by janet s. tiger giving thanks (c) nov. 26, 2014]]>Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:25:03 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-287-by-janet-s-tiger-giving-thanks-c-nov-26-2014  Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
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Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day #287 by Janet S. Tiger  Giving Thanks Nov. 26, 2014 

Other monologues from Book of Teas - Day # 15, 51, 52, 53, 69, 84, 96, 105, 118, 156, 173, 175-8,181, 184-5, 269)
                                                    Giving Thanks
                                                     (from Book of Teas)
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                         tigerteam1@gmail.com 

                 (This is T's Daddy, who is a big man, full of life and he is shaking his head at T.  He has a deep Southern accent, too.)



Luck - everyone has luck!  They just can't see it cause most people are blinder than  bats.  You have luck right now, T, and I bet you don't see it.'  Here you are, complainin about (imitates his daughter)  Bertie made me my least favorite breakfast, corn muffins!  They stick in my throat and make me cough for HOURS, Daddy, just hours, and then, when I was walkin to school, I encountered my arch nemasis Carol May Andrews, who had a new dress and was very mean to me........'                

             (He pretends to cry)

'And then there was school!'               

              (He stops and leans close in to T.)


Can you see me, T?

                (He listens)


Can you hear me?

               (He nods at T)
Good, that means your brain is workin', too.  Three lucky things and you are not even  aware of them.

               (He watches her think on this)

(Kinder) Most people don't realize that the only real luck on this earth is the fact we are given   today.
 Today!  Today is your lucky day.  No matter what happens to you today, it is better   by far than any day for the people in the cemetery over by the edge of town.  They have   no more luck.  Their luck has run out.  You, on the other hand, have the luck of today, being able to see the sunshine, and hear the crickets, and enjoy being miserable if you so   desire.  You have choices, my lovely daughter, and that, that is what luck is. 

Most people have no idea how very lucky they are, how much they have to be thankful for!  They complain bitterly and moan about things that others would be happy to have to complain about!         

 
You may not  understand this now, but watch, and listen.  When our dear neighbor, Mz  Gautier talks  with your mother about how her new car is not the color  she ordered, I want you to watch the eyes of the servants around her - look at ol' Edward, the man who drives that new ugly yellow car.  Do you think he would give just about  anything to have that ugly car for his family?  Of course he would, but he can't afford it now,  because his daughter is sick, and the money he saved has to go to  fix her problem. 

 And he listens to Mz. Gautier complain, and maybe some days, if he's lucky, he realizes that Mz. Gautier does not have a sick daughter - she has no children at all to worry about.  So he is lucky to have a child to worry about.  Thankful he has a child at all.  So no matter how bad a day he has, it can never be as bad as the day Mz. Gautier has.......and that's how he can keep goin.


          
(He kneels down next to her)

So, T, if you can learn how to be thankful for what you have, you will get to live in and enjoy every day of your life, even the ones that don't seem so good.  
 Luck - everyone has just about as much as they want, only most people don't ever know.  It's like they lived in a giant palace, and all they could see were the cracks in the  floorboards where they walked.

            (Her father turns and walks away, stops and looks back.) 

 

Look at the palace, T, not the cracks.  Give thanks and life will be your palace. 
            (He exits.  End of scene)
 ------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------


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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 286 by janet s. tiger the day off (c) nov. 25, 3014]]>Tue, 25 Nov 2014 08:21:49 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-286-by-janet-s-tiger-the-day-off-c-nov-25-3014    Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day #286 by Janet S. Tiger  The Day Off  Nov. 25, 2014 
Please see Day # 285 for background to this monologue.  
(Other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous - Day # 284, 273, 271, 270, 268)
                                                          The Day Off
                                                  (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                  A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                         tigerteam1@gmail.com 

            (When the lights fade on the 'birthday girl', one of the other women, older, starts to laugh hysterically.)

A birthday!  You got cake, and tonight off, but  I'll bet you don't even get the day off, do you?

             (The birthday girl nods and shrugs)

I knew it!  I never got birthdays off either!  Not for ages!    

             (She starts searching in her purse)

I even saved one of the cards from my brother.....

             (As she continues to dig through the purse)

He and my sister would come to 'help' me with mom so I could theoretically have my birthday off.....and they would arrive and I would give them a list for what Mom could eat and show them how Mom would need help in the bathroom, and how to reach me, and by the time I got to where I was going....a restaurant to meet a friend....the movies......there would be a call  (imitates)  'there seems to be a problem with your mother, please call home......'

And I would call, and there had been a problem, they had given Mom some raisins and she had choked on them, even though right there on the list had been 'food to avoid' - all items that can be choked on, like nuts and popcorn and.......RAISINS.  And when they took her to the bathroom, Mom had slipped on the rug, even though, on the list, it said...(loud) Please help Mom to the toilet, BECAUSE SHE MIGHT TRIP.

So, before I could eat, or see the movie, I had to go home.  But they gave me beautiful cards..... (happy)  Here it is!

           (She holds up the finally found card to the crowd, then reads)

'A day for relaxing......'

          (The others laugh)

'A day for dreaming.....'

          (Now the others are really laughing)

'A day for you.....'

          (They are rolling, as she opens the card) 

But not today!

          (They all hoot and holler as she puts the card back into her purse)

The best laugh in town!

           (She smiles, then shakes her head)

But then, she passed.  And not just gas my friends, but the whole enchilada.  Gone. Bit the dust. Kicked the bucket....bought the farm....crapped out......finito.....pushing daisies...cashed in her chips...croaked.....meet one's maker.....took the final bow....in case you didn't figure it out.....(takes a deep breath).dead.

And suddenly, where I saw my brother and sister at least a few times a year, for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mom's birthday......I haven't laid eyes on 'em for over five years.  Maybe I'll see them at the next funeral, but I have a lot more time now.  I can spend the whole day reading and watching TV, and many days I can't remember what day it is, because they're all the same.

That's why I come to these meetings still, even though my dear mother has been gone over eight years....to remind everyone here that it doesn't last forever, it helps to be grateful for what we have, every single day.

I guess when I asked God for a day off, he was listening, because now, I have them all off.

So, my friends, when you ask for a day off, maybe......be more specific than I was.......because....

         (She looks up)

Mom, I still miss you......and maybe now, I wish, I didn't have so many days off......    

         (As the others nod, lights down.  End of scene) 

------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Happy Birthday to me!  Today's the day!  Thank you my wonderful family for a fantastic day off!
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------

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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 285 by janet s. tiger the day before 9c) nov. 24, 2014]]>Mon, 24 Nov 2014 08:20:14 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-285-by-janet-s-tiger-the-day-before-9c-nov-24-2014
       Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day #285 by Janet S. Tiger The Day Before   Nov. 24, 2014 
Other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous - Day # 284, 273, 271, 270, 268)

                                                      The Day Before 
                                                     (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                  A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                         tigerteam1@gmail.com 

            (During the first act, in the middle of announcements, a woman comes in carrying a large box.  She is in her thirties, very harried, but happy.  She plunks the box down next to the coffee)

I'm SO sorry to be late, everyone, but there was a HUGE line at the bakery, and then I had left my purse in the CAR!  So, PLEASE forgive me, but I really don't care, because tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY!

             (The others break into Happy Birthday but she waves her hands for them to stop)

Thank you!  But I HATE hearing that more than once, and since I will have to hear it tomorrow, let's just have some cake!

             (Everyone comes over for cake and they wish her happy birthday, except for the other young woman who hangs back.)

Thank you!  Thank you!  Have as much as you like, it's  my BIRTHDAY!
  
             (As they all return to their seats, she stands up and looks around)

Thank you all for being such good friends, and for sharing my birthday, and for helping through all the other days, which are sometimes not so happy.....

             (She nods to the new woman)

Everyone else knows my whole story, but just for our newest visitor, I take care of two people, my oldest son Eric, who has Downs Syndrome, and my daughter  Angela, who has cystic fibrosis.  And I have two other children, Marybeth, who is four and Lyle who is just two, so I can be a little busy sometimes........I mean, I know that things could be worse, and coming here every week has given me a whole new perspective on that.  

Remember Doug?  He took care of his 85 year old mother, and then he was in a car crash, and he died....so, I guess, you just never know.

But that's all the personal stuff, because I wanna talk about something having to do with my birthday....something I have been thinking about for a long time.  Because this is the day BEFORE my birthday, and since I've had children, I know that you remember the day they're born, but also, the day before, before everything changes.

Each of their birthdays is burned into your brain like a photograph, and you wonder what the day before your own birth was like, and since my folks are both gone, and I'm the oldest, I have no one to ask.  But I wonder about another day.  I mean, you all know that I am NOT a religious person...I do not belong to a church or anything, but this year, I just starting wondering about God, and what he did the day BEFORE the Big Bang, the day BEFORE the universe was born......   

I mean, was he just resting?  Or did he have all this planned, because the whole universe is awfully well put together, you know, maybe God is a bit OCD?   Was he wondering where to put everything?  Or did he have help, maybe?

Or even, was he watching TV or the Internet?  I mean, he may have created this universe, but maybe there were other universes before......Okay, this may be getting a little weird, but on the day before I was born.......did God know what my life was going to be like?  My parents, and who I would marry?  That I would have children with......special needs?  I hate that expression.  When people say that to me....(mimics) Oh, it must be so hard to have TWO children with SPECIAL NEEDS.....(Back to herself)  I tell them, 'But ALL my children have special needs, it's just that two of them have EXTRA special needs.'  And then they get a look on their faces that I just love, and I walk away.  That's almost as good as a great birthday present, that look on their face.......but it doesn't help with my OTHER question.....did God know what I was getting?

            (She takes a deep breath and goes to sit, nodding at the new girl, stops, looks back)
  
Or is it just luck?

              (She takes a big bite of the cake as the lights freeze on her.  End of scene)

      
------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Happy Birthday to me!
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------





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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 284 by janet s. tiger helping hands (c) nov. 23, 2014]]>Sun, 23 Nov 2014 08:17:03 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-284-by-janet-s-tiger-helping-hands-c-nov-23-2014
       Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day #284 by Janet S. Tiger  Helping Hands  Nov. 23, 2014 

Warning - strong language and adult issues                                                                                                          Helping Hands
                                                (for Caregivers Anonymous)                                                          A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com 

                (Lights focus on an older woman, she is not fat, not skinny, not ugly, not beautiful, not much of anything, but when she opens her mouth, she has a beautiful voice, like honey, with a very slight accent.  She goes over to the newest member and looks at her.)

So you think what you gonna tell us that we're gonna be, what?  Surprised?  Horrified?  Upset? Or even worse, we might laugh at you?  (She laughs)  Honey, we have heard it all here!  We are all in the same boat - we take care of someone.  And we all have a story.  And I'm gonna tell you my story.......

           (The others protest, she waves her hands to quiet them)

.......even though everyone here knows it.....maybe it'll help you see that you are not alone!  Look at me....

         (She puts her face close to the other woman, who pulls back a bit)

No need to back away, I'm not that ugly anymore.  I'm old and ugly, which is acceptable.....and lemma tell ya, I know the difference, because I was born ugly, and my own papa left us because I was so ugly.  At least, that's what my mama told me, just before she left with my good-looking brothers, left me with my Aunt Anita......who raised me, and helped me.

         (She pulls a scarf out of a pocket and ties it around her head, leaning her face away)

Not so bad now, right?

          (She takes the scarf off)

I keep this scarf with me to remind me what it was like my whole childhood, it's what I wore to school.  Didn't help, they still made fun.  My Aunt would say, 'pretty is as pretty does'  and so is ugly, don't pay attention to mean people.'

I tried, but that meant I could only talk to her and the other old people where we lived in Long Beach after the war.

'But I'm so ugly, who will marry me?'  I would ask her and she would shake her head.  'Not so hard to find a man, just go where there are sailors, men in uniform, pick one who is drunk, with a nice face, not mean.  Men are simple, they will do almost anything when they are drunk or when they want a woman.   The man is drunk, you drive to Las Vegas, get married, do the thing I told you about that you should only do when you get married, and bingo!  You have a man!'  And she would laugh, but I listened, and I saved my money and bought a car, and one day, when I was eighteen, I went downtown.

When the boys were not drunk, they ignored me.  But once a few drinks were in, they were very....friendly.  I picked one with a nice face, from Nebraska.  He got so drunk, I didn't think it would work, that we would get to Las Vegas and he would be asleep.  But sex wins......he told the minister he wanted to marry me and he smiled.  He was blind....blind drunk.

I'll never forget his face the next morning when he woke up and saw me....

           (Her eyes open wide and she steps back as if she's seen the devil.)

I almost cried, but I pretended to love him.  He didn't run away, and when it turns out I was pregnant, his parents insisted on meeting me, and making him do the right thing.  His mother looked at me and when we spoke, she said (Midwest twang)  'I thought for sure my son had done another idiot thing, like he did when he signed up for the Navy, but once I saw you, I knew he did good.  Welcome to the family.'

And she kissed me, and I looked at her, she was older already, but I could see she had not been that good-looking as a girl......that is one of the great things about gettin' old, everyone hits the same level of ugly.  And plastic surgery just makes it look plastic ugly!  So now, I don't have to wear the scarf.

          (She listens, the others are urging her to get to the point)

All right, I'm getting there!  Everyone's in a rush, that's the problem with the world, too much rushing.  Anyhow, my husband, Randy was his name, he dropped dead of a heart attack at 38, shoveling snow.  No insurance, not much from the VA, so I had to work.  What could I do?  I did what I did my whole life, I took care of people.  I had taken care of my Aunt, and then my mother-in-law, the word spread, and people would call, I would be on what I called...death watch.

Waitin' for people to die.  But then, one day, oh, this was about twenty years ago, I was takin' care of a man, Mr. Hutchison, his name was, a nice man.  He used to watch me when I cleaned up his room.  He hated a messy room.  He was almost blind and could barely go to the bathroom, so I had to help, and then he started having accidents, so we're onto diaper duty, and I could see he was a little embarrassed at first, then one day, I went by his bed and he touched me.  You know...he touched me.  And when I pulled away, he held my hand.

'Please' he said, 'I just want you to touch me.....but not because of a diaper.  Because I'm a man.'

I thought I'd be horrified, but I wasn't because I understood.  And then he said.....(she is very moved by this).....'You are so beautiful, Yolanda.'

I almost cried, no one had ever said that to me before.  Not my parents who left me, not Aunt Anita, not even my husband could handle that lie, but here, he said it, and I knew he meant it, even if he was blind.

And then he told me he had a hundred dollar bill hidden under his mattress.  Now in those days, $100 was all I was making a week, live-in, and my car's just had a leak in the radiator, so I thought...what the hell?  He saw that I was hesitating, so he says, 'Don't worry, I can't do anything anymore, so you won't get pregnant'  ....and we both laughed.

No one was home....so..... I took off his diaper, and..... I touched him, and he was so happy.  He wasn't a rich man, but he gave me nice tips every week, and when he died, his daughter gave me a check for $5,000.  She told me he left it for me in his will, but I think she knew what was going on.  She said she knew I made him happy, that she knew he appreciated the good care.  That I had ...what did she call it?.......helping hands.

        (Looks at the girl again, laughs)

Oh, you can sit there judging me, but I'll bet you voted to give old people  the right to smoke that marijuana......funny, smoking is bad, then it's good, but sex, even with all the things you see now on the TV, sex is somehow still only for young people!


But it's not.  And after Mr. H, I decided he was probably not the only older man in.....such circumstances, and I found these men, and .......now I have money saved, and the last gentleman who I took care of, Mr. Eddie, he left me $50,000, so right now, I'm taking some time off, and in my time off, I'm taking care of my cousin who just broke her hip.  Because that's what I do.....I help.

          (She holds up her hands)

With my helping hands......

          (Lights down.  End of scene)
      
------------------------------------------------------------------ 
  
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------


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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 283 by janet s. tiger pockets out (c) nov. 22, 2014]]>Sat, 22 Nov 2014 08:13:34 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-283-by-janet-s-tiger-pockets-out-c-nov-22-2014     Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #283 by Janet S. Tiger  Pockets Out   Nov. 22, 2014 
                                     Pockets Out                                                                             (for the Senior Channel)                                                                A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com 

      (A man comes onstage with his pant pockets pulled out.  He takes his hands and pushes them back in)

That's it, that's why I am here on this TV show, to show everyone the secret to success in life.  It’s very easy.

Let me show you again.

He puts his hands into his pockets and pulls them out again, then puts them back in)

        (He turns to leave, hears someone, stops)

Oh, why does it work?  Simple!  This is exactly what my pops taught me a long time ago.  He said his father taught him, back when they bought their first washing machine, which was a very big deal in those days.  When everyone had been told to empty out their pockets before they put their pants in the wash, or else there would be trouble. 

When someone in the family had left an ink pen in their pocket and it had leaked all over the whole family's Sunday go to church clothing.......which someone happened to be my father, and who expected to get a good whupping when it turned out the ink pen was his very own Eversharp Skyline fountain pen.

It turns out that when things got left in the pockets, they messed up the wash.....What things? I asked my pops.  Things like marbles and chewing gum candy bars and food you didn't want to eat at dinner and change and folding dollars, well bills may not have messed up the wash, but it did make them harder to spend…..and ink pens, which leak all over everything, and there would be trouble, because that’s the way it was in those days.

And he told me he was expecting his whupping from his father, and his father took him into the basement, and told him that anyone can make a mistake, the secret is learning how not to repeat that mistake with a simple system that would work.......then his father showed him how to make sure nothing was in the pockets, and it was fun, and it was easy.....all you had to do was.....
       (He  pulls out the pockets again)
Simple, and lots of fun to do!  All the stuff in your pockets falls on the floor and makes a big noise!  Hey, I was three years old, everything that makes noise is fun at that age.

And he told me that if I could do that my whole life, in other words, figure out a system to avoid problems and then follow those directions consistently, every time, for this one thing that made someone's life easier, then my life would be easier - meaning, it would save my mother time and she would not be mad if something bad got in the wash. And when I did the wash for myself one day, it would save me. 

Consistency.  If I could do that, then I could do.....ANYTHING! consistently.  Show up on time for school, do my homework, pay my taxes on time.......keep my promises.  I would avoid problems and be dependable.  And it was so easy......


        (He turns out his pockets again, puts them back in)

So, throughout my life, whenever I faced a problem that needed a simple, easy solution, I just pulled the pockets out until I figured out that solution......

      (He smiles and pulls the pockets out now with a great flourish)

And it still is fun!             (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And you know what, it still works!

       (He walks offstage, pulling his pockets in and out.  The end of weird stuff in the wash!)
          ------------------------------------------------------------------    
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------




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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 282 by janet s. tiger dead (c) nov. 21, 2014]]>Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:07:25 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-282-by-janet-s-tiger-dead-c-n-21-2014        Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

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Monologue Mania Day #282 by Janet S. Tiger   Dead Nov. 21, 2014 
    Sorry this was a bit past midnight, but I did write it in my head earlier in the day!  Thank you, Scripteasers, for the great reading of Not So Fast! (see Day # 281)

                                                                Dead
                                     (from the movie - It's a Wonderful Life Insurance Policy)
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com 

            (The woman speaking is in her fifties, but is in good shape.  She is tanned and smiling, and is wearing waitress clothing, down to her shoes.  She throws her bag on the chair, puts her hands on her hips.)

How long have you known?

            (She puts up her hand to stop the response)

Stupid question.  I should have known I couldn't fool you.....I mean, we've been practically like sisters, right?  Except for the fact that you would be the rich sister, and I'm the one that ended up needing help.  But that's ok, I never resented you having all that money when I had money myself.

This.....

           (She indicates the waitress uniform)

This put things in a whole new perspective.....

           (She listens)

Interesting question....what's it been like......what is it like....to be..... dead?

I mean, and not really be dead.  To be .....not me, for the first time in my entire life.

It has been a crazy idea, committing suicide.....or at least, convincing most of the world it was a suicide.  But in the oddest way, it has been like breaking free.....for the first few weeks, I couldn't even go see my family, so I was totally on my own.

The sensation when I swam out in that inner tube......

            (She illustrates the next)

....   and took off my old suit, and tossed it away......and I put on the bathing cap, and swam that couple of miles.....when I came back to shore.....it felt like.....

          (She comes 'onland')

I was reborn!   Almost like it must have felt when the first people landed on these sands......like a new life was beginning!  One where I could walk away from all the problems of the past.....Eddie's heart attack, fighting for his disability....losing......going bankrupt.........having to get food from the food bank...where you and I used to volunteer....(hard to say) ...and used to help....people like me....more losing......losing the cars, the house....lots of losing......and .....and then....(she is ecstatic)....new!

All new!  

           (She takes a deep breath)

I realize that what I did is wrong.   I knew it when I first thought of it.  But sometimes, when your back is firmly against the wall and you realize that wall is where they put you for the firing squad.....you do things that you never thought you could do.

           (She leans over, very direct)
 
All these people who come to this land, suddenly I understood why they come.  Because wherever they come from, however they get here, legally or....like me....not so legally.....this country may be like hell sometimes....but it is like heaven for those of us who are dead!

           (She takes her bag and turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And now the question is - are you going to let us live our lives....or are you....going to tell?    

           (End of scene)

       ------------------------------------------------------------------ 
  
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------



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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 281 by janet s. tiger against you (c) nov. 20, 2014]]>Thu, 20 Nov 2014 08:05:38 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-281-by-janet-s-tiger-against-you-c-nov-20-2014   Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
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Monologue Mania Day #281 by Janet S. Tiger   Nov. 20, 2014 

Warning - strong language

See Day # 229
                              ( Can and Will be Used) Against You
                                (from the play/movie Celebrity)
                                      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com 

            (Monte Camden comes out onstage - he is furious, waving a newspaper)

I can't believe it!  After all we talked about, after all the damned hours I spent telling you to keep your mouth shut if we haven't discussed the issue!  Remember?  What are you supposed to do?

(Imitates young girl)  Hee...hee!  What an interesting question?  What do you think of my new hairdo?
(As himself)  How the hell hard is that to remember!

This is a fucking mess!  Why did you have to say something so godammned stupid?  I mean, (imitates her again)  'Gay people shouldn't be in a closet, the only thing in closets should be beautiful clothing, like this...'

          (He whirls around like he has on a new dress.)

'I mean, everyone should be free!  To do their own thing!'  What the hell were you thinking?  The only free thing in Hollywood is ass, and that costs a lot!  For God's sake, you know who you're supposed to be having an affair with!  You know the rumors about him.....and you know all the rumors are true!

You do recall that's why he is dating you, so that people will think he is straight!  Right?  And get the new superhero role in the upcoming blockbuster! And you are up for the choice girlfriend part!  Which we have worked to get for the last two months!

 And then you go and you say something stupid like this and it just screws with the whole idea! Have you read what people are tweeting? And putting on Facebook?  That you are a big phony!  That you just....(spits this out)  are using him.....for publicity!  And for some reason, people do not like that - the public has little sense of morality but what they do, they stick to like gum on shoes!

And it's not that they give a holy horseshit about whether he's gay - or whether you are using him, they only care that their ILLUSION about the two of you is now shot to hell!  That they were....fooled!  That you...(laughed)....lied to them! 

I thought that I made myself clear when we first met - no one in this business gives a shit about the truth, but we all give a shit about money, and if it makes money, it's the truth.  And that is the truth, no shit!

         (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

(Vicious) Didn't I tell you...everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion!  And if you can't remember that, my dear miss upcoming young superstar, then you can forget our arrangement - and go fuck yourself, because no one in this business will!

         (He leaves.  End of scene)
       ------------------------------------------------------------------ 
  
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
 



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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 280 by janet s. Tiger  not so fast! (c) Nov. 19, 2014]]>Wed, 19 Nov 2014 07:58:36 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-280-by-janet-s-tiger-not-so-fast-c-nov-19-2014        Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
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Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day #280 by Janet S. Tiger  Not So Fast!  Nov. 19, 2014 


This monologue is taken from the one-act,  Not So Fast!, which received Honorable Mention in the 2014 Script Tease of New One-Acts –first public reading at Scripteasers on Friday, Nov. 21, for more info -click here

                                                                                     Not So Fast © 2014
                                   A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                                                 (A mother walks out, opens a door and looks in, listens.  She is calm, but very direct)
Well, young lady.  You have done something which allows everyone to judge you.  But me, I am not really here to judge.           (She tilts her head, listens) You made a pact with ....well, is it the devil?  And I made my own pact - there are rules that        come with each agreement.  You'll figure it out.  Anyway,  I warned you! You never listen to me, so I am here to make sure you finally do. You see,   you have no choice now, it's just the two of us. What is this place?  Funny you should ask!    For me, I'm in heaven. With you dead, I get you completely to myself -       what a dream for a mother!  We can talk until the end of time. You must've been in a lot of pain to take all these pills, honey, and my job now is to make sure you are in worse pain. Let’s start with your birth.             (She takes out a book of photos and we don't hear her, but she is glowing about her baby.   Raises her head to listen) You thought taking those pills would make all this go away?             (She  starts laughing) That's a good one!  Nothing goes away here - I just get to keep talking. There are no windows...... No way out.  No escape.  No exit.  No chance. No leaving.  No No No         (She stops, upset) Did I hear you tell me to …’shut up?’  Don't talk to me like that, young lady! Rights?  Who said you have any rights?  (Very angry)  When you are born you are given the         right to a pursuit of happiness, not that you will catch it!  And no one said that you have the right to spit in the face of everyone you know!  I don't care how much pain you are  in,  you are greatly loved and everyone wants you to live so you can pursue your dreams!         Here, look at the rest of your life....             (She takes out another box, and in it is a cell phone, which she turns on, and we hear         laughter.) That was your sixth birthday, and you were happy.... And here you are in third grade.....             (Her mother looks at the video and no longer smiles) I had no idea......no idea it was so painful.... I was busy because we had so much to do, and I was working.... And I guess I  never had time to listen.... …and the years just passed..... Did you  hate me for thinking everything was fine....             (She hangs her head and puts out her hand to touch her daughter, who pulls back.) I know, when you're dead, you can't be touched, that's another rule.             (She is quiet for a moment, and she reaches out her hand, but not as far.) What happened today, honey? What brought you to this moment? Was it that girl who was taunting you all the time?  Do the pills work?  I mean, they may kill you, but…. how many pills will it take to forget?  Didn’t I ask you if everything was all right and you would say…. Fine, everything’s fine. Fine, everything’s fine…. Was that the truth? I guess not.             (She  is very affected by this, turns to leave, stops, looks back) I don’t know how many pills you took, but there aren’t enough pills on this planet to make me forget this…….              (She hears something, stops, she is now completely different) No, honey, I was just watching you sleep…..I still do that sometimes, because, I’m still your mother…..and I worry about you…..go back to sleep….I’ll see you in the morning…..             (She closes the door) Just remember, if you take those pills, I will be there forever……torturing you for all eternity!             (She opens the door, leans in) Sleep tight!            (She exits.  Never the end of a mother’s diligence!)        -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.PlaysByJanetSTiger.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315  www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------


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<![CDATA[monologue mania day # 279 by janet s. tiger fear factor (the other side) (c) Nov. 18, 2014]]>Wed, 19 Nov 2014 07:51:01 GMThttp://www.monologuestore.com/monologue-mania---a-blog-with-one-new-free-monologue-per-day/monologue-mania-day-279-by-janet-s-tiger-fear-factor-the-other-side-c-nov-18-2014 Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day #279 by Janet S. Tiger  Fear Factor (the other side)  Nov. 18, 2014 

See Day # 278 - these two can be done together

                                         Fear Factor (the other side)
                                      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com 

       
          (A teenage boy runs in, he is sweating and very disheveled.  He waves wildly.)

Hey, I need something fast, nothing alcoholic, I'm driving, do you have like a milk shake?  

         (Listens)

All right!  Make it a double!  Yeah, two of them!  And put lots of chocolate syrup in there.  

         (He paces as he waits, wiping his wet head with a sleeve)

Man, I have done some gnarly stuff on my skateboard, you know?  And over in Hawaii, I've surfed super big waves, and I even went out on a blind date one time, that was pretty scary......but today, oh, man, I have never been so frightened in my whole life, not even when I was a kid and my brother told me that there were monsters in the closet who came out at night - I didn't sleep for two weeks!

But this, this is REAL scary stuff!  A couple of times, I thought I was finished!


And I'm not even twenty yet!  It's not fair!  I wanna live!  I wish I hadn’t promised my Mom I’d do this!  But hey, a promise to Mom…..I can’t go back on that……
           (He takes the milk shake and gulps it down fast.)

Brain freeze!  Maybe that'll help and I won't be so afraid any more....

           (He now takes the second shake, pays) 

(Thinks)  Nah, still scary......(looks at his phone)  Hey......gotta go.....

            (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

What am I doin'?  Can't you figure it out?  Shakin' like a leaf....nerves shot ......stomach is all knotted up......can't you tell, man.....I'm teaching my grandfather to drive!

             (He shudders and exits.  Not the end....of fear!) 

        
 
------------------------------------------------------------------ 
  
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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