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monologue mania day # 251 by janet s. tiger changes (c) oct. 21, 2014

10/21/2014

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     Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania  Day # 251 by Janet S. Tiger  Changes   Oct. 21, 2014 
      
                                                     Changes
                              A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (A woman comes up on stage, confident, she smiles to the audience.) 

No, it's all right, my name is Amanda Hatch and I'm not nervous.   Not anymore.   I used to be very afraid of speaking in front of an audience.    In fact, there were many things I was afraid of - meeting people, flying, sleeping in a different bed.....but I have made a lot of changes recently and it was all because of a visit to the doctor.

It was just my regular annual check-up and they did the regular things, .....and a mammogram.  (harder to talk about)  Those are never fun, but....this time....(Snaps out of it)   Anyhow, I felt perfectly healthy.  No problems.... So it was a complete surprise when they told me I had cancer, and that it was a very unpleasant kind and that there was a good chance that....(swallows hard) I was going to die.....very soon.   It felt like...you know those pendulums in clocks like Big Ben?   Like that hit me......and then kept hitting me as if it was 100 o'clock!

Well, let me tell you, if that doesn't change your life, I don't know what will!   Suddenly, talking in front of a crowd seemed much less worrisome!

And so I decided if this was the end for me, I was going to make some big changes.  The next day, I called up, and I went skydiving.

I've always been scared of heights, and the one time I flew in a plane I was sick the whole trip.   I even took the bus home so I wouldn't have to do that again!
And now, I have actually jumped out of a plane!   (Happy)  Usually it takes awhile to get to jump, but I explained what happened, and they took me up right away with an instructor holding me all the way down..... And it was amazing!  I loved every minute!   I don't remember even being a little afraid, and the sensations!   Like a bird!

And once I did that, the next change was that I quit my job.   I always hated working for Mr. Delbing - he was cheap and he didn't appreciate how much I did for his company!    But now, I had my excuse.    Funny thing, once I quit - he called me up to tell me how much he missed me - even offered me my job back with more money!   Ain't life weird?

But the biggest change was talking to people.   I'd always been nervous to speak with someone new - to be honest, even people I'd worked with for years!   Now, it didn't matter what they thought of me - I found out, I just didn't care!   What freedom!  What exhiliration!  and this was all in the first three days after the results!......(Sighs)

And then...... I got the phone call....(Shakes her head in disbelief)  It was a mistake.   It seems that, in an odd coincidence, there was another A. Hatch, and she was the one who was sick, not me. 

So, have I made all these changes for nothing?   Hell, no!   I realized that I could change without something horrible happening, and so now I try new things all the time.   I'm even going out with my skydiving instructor and....... Mr. Delbing!   So my advice - don't wait for a pendulum to smack you in the head.   Make those changes today!

            (She starts to walk offstage, then turns back)
  
 

Oh, and I did change one other thing -...my doctor!

              (She exits.  Definitely not the end)
-------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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monologue mania day # 250 by janet s. tiger the devil's food (c) oct. 20, 2014

10/20/2014

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          Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day  Day # 250 by Janet S. Tiger  The Devil's Food Oct. 20, 2014 
      Previous monologues from The Devil Comes to River Bend - Day # 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 206, 207)


                                                The Devil's Food
                                       (For The Devil Comes to River Bend)
                              A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
            (The towel over the woman's shoulder and the pencil behind her ear says it all, she is in the food business, and she has been for a long time.  She looks at the audience and smiles, speaks in a slow Texas drawl)

Well, hello, New York.  I was wondrin' when you'd get to speak to me......can I offer you a cuppa coffee....on the house?  Everythin' else you pay for, because that's the way it works here.

         (Listens, laughs)

What do I know?  Now that's a rich one!  For a girl who never finished high school, I know a lot.  I know how to take the one pot of beans - the last because someone didn't order more in time - take that pot and get it to stretchout over two shifts of hungry watermelon pickers.

I know how to tell if a person's gonna pay for their lunch or try to skip out through the back bathroom window, so's I can offer them a free meal on the house before they become thieves.

And best of all, I know how to make a devil's food cake that's is so DEE-licious that it could make the devil himself say...Hallelujah!

But I think you wanna know somethin else....something about who killed Calvin.  And it's funny, because the sheriff never asked me.  Some might say it's because I was nowhere near the original accident that killed the Rodriguez boys and nowhere near the crash that killed Calvin because for 18 hours a day I am right here slingin' hash to hungry people!

         (She takes the towel and dries a glass)

Or some might say he didn't ask...because he knows that I know somethin'......and they would be right, because I do know somethin'....I know who shot Calvin, just as sure as I know that if I put in three eggs to the devil's food cake recipe, instead of four, it turns out not so tasty.  So, how bout that coffee?  I got a fresh pot just ready......

        (She turns to go, looks back)

I may know who killed Calvin, but I'll be goddamned if I'm a gonna tell you......

         (She exits, end of scene)

-------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day # 249 by janet s. tiger how to write a monologue (c) oct. 19, 2014

10/19/2014

0 Comments

 
         Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day  Day # 249 by Janet S. Tiger   How to Write a Monologue  Oct. 19, 2014 
      
                                                   How to Write A Monologue
                                      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (Actor enters, maybe even with a blackboard on stage.  Smiles at the audience.)
(Speaks slowly and v-e-r-rrrr-y clearly)   Welcome to my 60 second class on ......
How ....to ......Write..... a .....Monologue.
Blah.  (thinks)  Blah, blah.
Very easy.
Blah, blah, blah.
Follow the simple directions…..
Blah, blah, blah…..blah blah blah blah!

           (Goes over to the blackboard and writes and speaks the word….)
Secret.
Blah, blah, blah...Blah! 

          (Steps away from the blackboard)

Most beginnings are like the blah blah  - something about the topic and some -often- inflated information that you forget immediately.

But for now, I want you to think about that ……secret.
You know, the one that popped into your head when you heard the word - "secret" 
You see, I know something about you, something deep and dark and very shameful.....and it hurts. Yes, I know you have a secret.....the one that no one knows .....except maybe your very best friend.  Or your mother.  Or your brother.  Well, almost no one knows...........but you know what I'm talking about......yes, you!
          (Points into the audience)

Everyone has a secret.

And people love to know other people's secrets.

It creates bonds - it shows us what humanity is - but most of all, we love secrets because we are....human!

Animals never read the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

But we do.  Even those who don't read can't escape the news about celebrities that blankets our modern press.  Which star is dating which reality show host?  How many shoes does Lindsay Lohan own?  Did Charlie Sheen jump out of a window naked?
What does that have to do with monologues?  Everything.

A monologue is really a secret that someone is sharing with the audience.
You see, I told you...... just like the instructions on that closet you bought at IKEA – simple!

Go get yourself to a computer, or if you're old school, some paper and a pen.  That's all you need, because that secret is enough!  You see, a monologue is the most personal form of theater.  It is one person, one voice.  Your monologues will be one person’s voice – yours.

That’s it -the rest is detail.   Why is this so short?  Because I'm teaching by example - a good monologue should be short.   Some can be longer, but the goal is to keep the audience attention.   And in the world of monologues, shorter is better.  And that is the secret to the whole thing – did I say secret?  By any chance, don’t you have a secret?

I think you do.   Now you just keep thinking about that secret, because ...when you come out on this stage tomorrow.......that's what you will have to reveal... that's what you will have to bring to life!....And it better be......(relishes this) good and juicy!  (leans into this).....even if it's hard to tell...even if you don't want to....even if people laugh!..... 

           (Starts to walk off, stops, looks back...more serious)  

Even if it hurts.......

           (Exits......don't stop thinking about that secret!)

          

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day # 248 by janet s. tiger what day is it today? (c) Oct. 18, 2014

10/18/2014

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Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day  Day # 248 by Janet S. Tiger   Oct. 18, 2014 
      
                                                What Day is it Today? 
                                      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

               (Scarves are whirling, and the actress is barely seen underneath them all.  There are many, all different colors, patterns, you get the idea - a lot of scarves.  After a few moments of mayhem, the actress lets them fall, and takes a deep breath.)

My, where did all these come from?  Is it scarf day today?

             (She picks up one of the scarves, drapes it on her shoulders)

I wore this one on a Saturday night, to the Embassy Ball, and I had on the black dress which was cut to my......

            (Runs her finger up her leg)

Up to my nether regions!

So is it Saturday now again?

Or is it Tuesday?  Is it garbage day?  Did I forget to take out the pails?  Or did it switch to Wednesday because of the holiday on Monday....what holiday was it?  They make it difficult to remember because they're all on Monday...or Friday, even Christmas, I think, which is not fair.  I don't think Jesus likes that they are playing with his birthday.......

         (She thinks for a moment)

Or.....did I forget to take my pills?  That's easy, I take the pills every day!  Except when I forget, of course, which could be any day.....

         (She picks up another scarf)

I got this one on a Thursday in the summer, on my tenth birthday, from that girl down the street I was best friends with.....what was her name?  Is she still alive?  Does she come to visit me?

I always hated this scarf, but since we were friends, I would wear it when I saw her.

The things we do for friends.  I seem to recall that I also wore it when I slept with her husband, what was his name......Andy, I think, or was it Thomas? .......

          (She picks up two scarves and ties them together)

These two go together, because I got them on holiday, two years in a row at that lovely place by the sea.......Brighton?  One for each baby that was born ...nine months later.

           (She suddenly sits)

Do I remember these, or did I just find them all in a box at that thrift shop around the corner?  If I did, it cannot be Sunday, because they are closed on Sunday, so that narrows it down.  And I am making up all these stories because I have no idea what day it is today, and .....I do not care, because it is completely unimportant now which day it is.

Funny.....how I used to be so angry about things I had done on other days.  Days in the past, days long gone.  Days I could not return to, no matter how I tried.  Mistakes that were sealed in time, never to be repaired, frozen forever in the past.  How I used to wail and rail and go on about how I would have changed things.  But then, something happened and I realized....what day is it today?  How can I make today a good day.  Somehow, when you get to understand that there is no returning to those past days, those days of yore, your days, my days, all the days gone by.........

           (She rises, gathering the scarves, letting them wash over her, then watching them fall to the floor.)

Funny how all the things you think are important, suddenly, are no longer so very important.....

           (She turns to leave, looks back)

When you die.......

           (She exits.  This is the end for her.)


          

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day # 247 by janet s. tiger a Noble Prize for peace (c) Oct. 17, 2014

10/17/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
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Monologue Mania Day  Day # 247 by Janet S. Tiger  A Noble Prize for Peace Oct. 17, 2014 
      
                              A Noble Prize for Peace
                                (For the Senior Channel)                                                                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (The man enters, carrying a large bag.  He is smiling)

Hey there, Senior Channel people!  I have been watching this channel for months now, and I figure what I have to say is just about as crazy as some of the other nutcases you've had on!  The difference - what I'm about to say is really important!

             (He waves to the audience.)

Are you listening, you guys in Sweden?  I hereby advocate a brand new award for your Nobel prizes - an award for a device that just might cause world peace, and I present it to you now!

             (He opens the bag and removes a toilet paper roll holder.)

Is this the most beautiful thing you have ever seen or what?

             (He holds it up and admires it lovingly)

This is what made me get married to my beautiful wife!

 Now, I hear you out there, saying 'what the hell is he talking about?'  But you know.....it's the world famous, multi-cultural horribly divisive issue of......which way does the toilet paper go?

And it has been the cause of many fights - and both of my divorces!  Okay, maybe there were a couple of other minor issues like money and fidelity and drinking and gambling, but the main issue boiled down to - does the toilet paper come over the top, or from the bottom!

And lemme tell ya, this is one battle no one can ever win!

So when I went to pick up the lovely lady who would become my third wife, and I went to the bathroom for the first time.....and I saw this.......

            (He embraces the holder)

And I knew, the woman who could have this...well, she was truly a find!  That's why I married her....well, the main reason, can't you see....

           (He gazes at the holder with reverence)

From the moment I set eyes on this, I realized that it was almost like a perfect scientific discovery, like when they figure out that unified field theory or discover how to have solar energy to run my car, this answered the problem perfectly.....look!

             (He illustrates as he speaks)

For those who know that the best way is over the top, you can take the paper over the top.  For those who prefer from underneath, they too, can be happy!  It is a perfect solution to a problem that has vexed humanity since the beginning of, well, not time, but the beginning of our modern toilet age!

           (He removes the paper, flips it)

And it is so simple!  It doesn't care which way you put the paper on, it works....BOTH WAYS!

So I am proposing this new category of Noble Peace Prizes.....a category for best invention for peace, because if these devices were installed internationally, I predict a lowering of the divorce rate, the murder rate....and I bet even the rate of war!

Thank you......

           (He turns to walk off, stops, looks back, shaking the device)

Now I'm waiting to see the invention that does the same thing for religion.......

           (He exits.  Not the end for the quest for peaceful solutions.)

 ------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 246 by janet s. tiger The Un-graduate (c) Oct. 16, 2014

10/16/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  Day # 246 by Janet S. Tiger  The Un-graduate Oct. 16, 2014 
 
                                               
                                            The Un-graduate
                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

             (A young man appears, dressed very casually, he is definitely happy and very stoned.  Or is it very happy and definitely stoned?)

Hey, Dad, how's it going?  I read that letter you sent me, whoa, heavy stuff.  I mean, I know I smoked your whole stash, but I had to share with my friends, right?  That's what you taught me, right?  To share?  That's why I think you're so cool, Dad, you always were trying to teach me the right way to do things......and now, I mean, I think you're right, we should be honest with each other.

You've been a great, Dad, and that is the truth.  I mean, you've been paying for college since I graduated from high school, and that was like....(thinks, counts on his fingers) like, eight years ago.  And I don't have a degree yet, and that, I think, could be my fault, because, you see, like I haven't been in school since that first semester.  I mean, I haven't been enrolled because they kicked me out, and the classes I go to are just ....well, to hang out with friends.

             (He ducks as if something was thrown at him)

Whoa!  Dad!  Isn't that a little harsh?  I mean, I am your son still, and even if I have some problems, we're still like, related, so,, it's not like you and Mom, and the divorce, I mean you can't divorce me, right?  I'm still your son?

            (Listens, now not so happy)

Oh.  I didn't realize you could cut off my allowance.  I thought that was just for, like you know, bad things, like if I got arrested or something.  Or hurt somebody.    Not for a little thing like this, right?

            (Backs up from the screaming)

Okay, okay, I can hear you!  Whoa! But  I know education meant so much to you!  I did!  That's why I didn't tell you all the details, I figured, it might upset you a little, and I can see that I was right......I'm not so stupid, right?  I figured that out all by myself!

            (Listens)

Move out?  Now?  Like, this minute?  Like ....I don't have time to find another place?  (Listens)  Well, I guess eight years is a bit of time if you look at it like that, but this is not a great day to go looking, I don't have a job, so I don't have any money, and that kind of makes it hard to rent a place, you know?

            (Listens)

I guess you have a point, I could stay with friends, but your place is so much nicer, Dad.  I mean, you have a lot of room, and a nice jacuzzi, and you even have a maid clean up our mess, and you always have good food.  And without a job, I don't think I can afford a maid.  (Brightens)  But wait a minute, I have an idea......how about this.......

           (He reaches into his pocket and takes out a joint, offers it)

Here, it's my last one....(quickly)  okay, maybe your last one........but I think you need it more....why don't we share it and then, you see if you feel the same way?  Okay?  We can mellow out together!  It's a really beautiful day, we can soak in the hot tub together, right.....(thinks)  soak and toke, I like that, maybe I should get a job as a poet!

           (He keeps the joint offered, then it is taken, and he smiles)

I knew you'd be reasonable, Dad, you always are about the important things!

            (He turns to exit, reaches into his pocket)

Hey, look what I found! 

           (As he exits, lighting the newly found joint, we hear...)

Looks like it's gonna be a good day after all!  Hey, Dad, did I ever tell you about that class where they kicked me out for smoking in class.....that was a kick!

           (He exits, smiling....forever in 'high' school.)
-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 245 by janet s. tiger  dial M for marriage (c) oct. 15, 2014

10/15/2014

0 Comments

 
          Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  Day # 245  by Janet S. Tiger Better Chances Oct. 15, 2014 
 
                                   Dial M for Marriage
                                       
                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (A young man comes onstage.  He is dressed neatly, but we can see he is a bit edgy.  There is the outline of something in his jacket pocket)

Hello, doctor.

I want you to know how much I appreciate your help this year.  I mean, I know how hard you work, and I really feel, like, you know, that you want to help me.  And I think you have, truly.

When I started, I wasn't sure what I wanted.  I mean, I knew things had to change, but how?  So, every week, I come here, and you have shown me a way to make my life different, better.

I remember the first day, it took almost the whole session to tell you that I had trouble meeting girls.  And another month before I admitted that one day, it would be nice to get married.

So this year, I have studied and researched and learned a...a great deal.  My job in the insurance industry has been really invaluable, too, and that was another thing you did to help me, you know.  I never realized once I put my mind to something, something than actuarial tables, that, my life could change.

Marriage is a funny thing, there's so much divorce, and I wanted to avoid that, if possible.  So, when I studied the marriages that have the fewest divorces, and the professions that have the highest level of marriage, I noticed an intersection....

        (He reaches into his pocket, almost removes the bulging object, but decides to wait)

You see, in order to increase my chance of marriage, there are certain professions that almost ensure you will get married.  The medical profession, the criminal justice profession and rock singers have very high rates of marriage, but I am already 25, and was never that great with either doctor or lawyer stuff, so I ruled that out. And I cannot carry a tune, let alone play electric guitar. 

No, my profession, insurance has an average rate for marriage.....along with most of the other jobs - but there is one field where the marriage rate is very high......

Murder.  Or maybe I should say murderers.

Yes, isn't that a strange factoid?  I mean, it was hard to understand, but it seems to hold true across the years.  Men who kill have fan clubs!  And they often have a lot of women writing to them, sending personal letters, and many proposals of marriage!  And the women are hot, too, here....look at this...

         (He pulls out a book from his jacket pocket, opens it)

This is the woman who married that serial killer in Ohio, isn't she beautiful?  And this one....

          (Turns a few pages)

She was wife of the guy who picked up all those hitchhikers.....Very impressive, right?

This is why I have decided, since I want to get married and all, to kill someone..... 

          (From his back pocket, he now pulls out a large, very sharp...knife)

Maybe even a few people.  The correlation appears to be the greater the number of murders, the more groupies!  What a strange world!

So, I hope you don't mind, but...I think I'll start with you.....

         (He jumps into the crowd and runs to exit, stops, looks back)

But do I still have to pay for this session?

         (He exits......the end of this shrink)


-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 244 by janet s. tiger  well planned (c) oct. 14, 2014

10/14/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  Day # 244 by Janet S. Tiger Well Planned Oct. 14, 2014 

   Note - Today marks passing the 2/3 point in the year - only 121 monologues to go!
 
                                   Well Planned

                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (The older man who comes onstage is wearing the coat of a doctor.  He holds something in his hand)

One day, when I was just five years old, the doctor came to our house....that'll tell you how old I am!  He came because my sister had something in her eye, and my mother was afraid to move her.  So the doctor took the chip of wood out, and afterwards, he saw me looking.  I asked him, 'Doctor Benton, if we have two eyes, why do we only see one picture?'

And he thought for a moment and said......'But how many brains do you have?'  And those words changed my life!

          (He now opens his hand and shows what he has been holding.)

See this?  I mean, do you really SEE this?

            (He holds the item to his eye)

It's an eye.  I am looking at an eye.  Not a real one, but one that they make in a factory, and it is pretty damn realistic.

When I was a med student....oh, about a million years ago, they had wooden eyes, painted to approximate what an eye looked like.  Now...now I can go onto a computer and look into the eye, at the most incredible part of the human body!  And I can see into the brain!

If you give me two minutes, I can prove there is a God!  You see, this amazing eye that we have, it was created with a tiny opening that has no nerves, nothing that can be damaged....knowing that one day, today, we would be able to put tiny tools through this opening into the eye, and fix the problems that the eye can develop - detached retinas, hemorrhages, relieving pressure- trouble that can make us blind, unable to see!

This is something that does not happen by chance!

I have spent my entire life studying, and repairing this amazing creation.....and now.....now that I have the knowledge to help people.....you tell me that, after all these years.....I am losing my vision.

        (He laughs and throws the eye into the crowd)

Amazing!  Macular degeneration!  I know all about it, and yet....I can do nothing.

         (He turns to go, stops, looks back)

I guess....I just didn't see this coming.....

          (He laughs as he exits.  The end of sight.....but hopefully not of vision)

-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 243 by janet s. tiger part two (c) Oct. 13, 2014

10/13/2014

1 Comment

 
 Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  Day # 243 by Janet S. Tiger Part Two Oct. 13, 2014 

    Please note - this Part One and Part Two -(Part One was Oct. 12)
 is not related to Part One -Part Two Day # 90
except in the sense that I like to take chances with different takes on the same subject.  Please let me know which part works better- thanks!
 
                                        Part Two 
                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

         (If the same actor has done Part One, they can return to the stage for Part Two, only this time, remarkably less perky, more cynical.  They are wearing a much less fancy outfit, but still professional - and still with a comb and mirror.  Only now they look in the mirror with a more polished look.)

Mirror, mirror, whaddaya think?

Boy, you are quiet today!  Maybe I should stop taking my meds so you can talk back to me again.....
 Okay, enough schizo, I'll save my passion for the director.....

          (Looks)

Okay, reality time.  Not bad, but still needs something more.  This is the third callback, and I can't take a chance on losing this one, it actually pays.  And I might get to work with that actress who was on that TV show five years ago, what was her name again?  She's a real live almost-made-it, and that's a first for me, I'm usually with a lot of other 'will-be-famous-one-day's.....

         (Looks, then throws the mirror down)

(Getting upset)  Who am I kidding?  This is only the second part I've ever had with a real credit!  Three years, and only two parts!  Okay, maybe more than two parts, but only two credits!  Who am I kidding, I'll never make it!  I have no talent!  I hate my face, my clothes, my hair!  Oh, damn it, where is Bruce Springsteen when you need him!

I'll never make it!  I'll have to return to Small Turkey Town, USA and teach third grade for twenty-five years and have a family with two point two children and be a nothing because I couldn't make out here in the real world of Hollywood!

         (Looks back in the mirror)

Did I just say that...out loud?  Worse, did I just think that?  Oh, my God, it's happened, I've joined the ranks of the searching actor.....the journey for fame that only one tenth of one millionth of one billionth of a per cent will make.... it's an accurate, mathematical number!  It has to be true.....I saw it on TV!

       (Goes to find the mirror)

Numbers....numbers of  years old......numbers of jobs as a waiter....or is that really just one job with a million different bosses......numbers of wrinkles......numbers of times you tell yourself you'll just go on ONE LAST AUDITION!  Number of lies......Okay, I quit.....I will go home......because LA is never really home, is it?

I give up......where's my bag, I'll pack it in now..... I don't need a third callback, a third strike, I can read the writing on the bathroom walls......

       (Hears a phone ring)

Hello?  Cancelled?  Really?  (Laughs)  No third callback?  Why am I not surprised?  They don't need to humiliate me anymore, right?  They've been kind and decided to save everyone a lot of time!

      (Listens, sits suddenly)

 What?  They cancelled because......(Amazed)....I got the part!  AAHHHHHHHHh!

      (Starts dancing around the room)

  My second real part!  Yeah! It's more than a second part, it's....a second chance!

      (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I knew it all the time!   I felt it in my bones!

      (Dances offstage, smiling, a happy end for a second chance)



-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
1 Comment

monologue mania day # 242 by janet s. tiger part one (c) Oct. 12, 2014

10/12/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  Day # 242 by Janet S. Tiger Part One Oct. 12, 2014 

    Please note - this Part One and Part Two -for tomorrow Oct. 13 -
 is not related to Part One -Part Two
except in the sense that I like to take chances with different takes on the same subject.  Please let me know which part works better- thanks!
 
                                                    Part One 
                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com
              (The actor enters, very spiffy, with a comb - and mirror if necessary.  Very up, very excited)

A callback!  I got a callback!  My first callback!  I've been going on auditions for ages...well, maybe three months, and this is my very first callback!

               (Looks in the mirror, tilts head)

Which side should this part go on?  This way on the right......

               (Moves hair)

Or this way on the left?

               (Moves hair again)

I can't tell!

               (Looks at watch/phone)

And it's too late to call anyone, I have to be there in ....oh, my God....like zero minutes!

               (Goes to put down mirror, stops, looks again)

But which way will ensure that I get the part?

My first callback!  And maybe even....my first part!

              (Stops, thinks, realizes)

My first part!  That's it, which way did my first part go?

              (Runs around, looking)

Where is an old baby picture when you need it....I must know which side my mother put the part on, because I am sure this will make sure I get this part!  It makes sense...it's logical!

            (Finds an album, opens it quickly.....looks, is horrified)

No part!  No part at all!  Just.......bangs!

            (Picks up mirror, stares)

I can't do bangs now!  It's too late!  And I always have a part now!  I can't jinx my entire career over a mistake my mother made years ago!

            (Falls to knees, pulling hair)

(Very upset)  Will Shakespeare, will you please help me?  What should I do?

            (Listens)

What?  That's a great idea!

          (Looks in the mirror, takes the comb, and puts the part.....)

Straight down the middle!  I love it!  Compromise and originality!  I can't lose!  They have to give me this part now.....

           (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I'm sorry, I can't resist, the writer of this monologue just has me walk offstage now, but I have to say this first.....(gives it with a great flourish) .....'Good night, good night, parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be the morrow!'

          (Exits.  The beginning of an actor's career.)


-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments
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    Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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    Janet S. Tiger’s award-winning plays and monologues have been produced internationally and are currently in popular anthologies in the United States and Canada.

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