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monologue mania day #261 by janet s. tiger  halloweenie (c) oct. 31, 2014

10/31/2014

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Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day# 261 by Janet S. Tiger Halloweenie   Oct. 31, 2014 

                                             Halloweenie
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com 

             (The same older lady comes onstage that we met in Day #261's monologue - NO KETCHUP!
  This can be done as a continuation of Day # 261 - or it can stand on its own, with the actress making the most of the physical actions.  She is now carrying a paper bag, along with her purse and cane.   We can hear her muttering)

No ketchup, no ketchup, there had better be no ketchup.....

              (She proceeds to start opening the bag, peering in)

I can't believe it, I actually fell for this ridiculous advertising!  Halloweenie!  A hot dog just for Halloween....well, if they put on ketchup, they had better be scared, because I'm not gonna be happy....

             (She removes the hot dog from its wrapping, it looks big to start, but by the time she actually gets to the hot dog, it is much smaller.)

(Very annoyed)  Well, I am not surprised!  If it got any smaller I'd need a microscope to find this weenie!  

            (She goes to take a bite.)

Nothing personal, Mr. Weenie, but you are goin' right back if I see one drop of ketchup!

            (She takes a big bite and her face is a mixture of horror and surprise. She opens the bun and stares)

(Sputtering)  Amazing!  I told them MUSTARD and NO KETCHUP!  And they have the gall to put on both  mustard AND ketchup!  What sacrilege will they dream up next! 

            (She takes another bite and shakes her head)

And the worst part is......I like it!  (Confused)  But I also hate change of any kind!  Damn them for forcing me to question my own opinion!  What a world!

            (She stares at the hot dog, shakes her head, then finishes it)

And I am goin' to get another one!    

            (She reaches into her purse, waves her cane.)

Can you hear me in there you idiots?  I want a hot dog, but with mustard AND ketchup!  Think you can get it right?

           (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Talk about a scary Halloween....I may have to even question everything I know, everything I learned in school, maybe even my religious beliefs!  (Thinks)  Nah......

           (She exits and we hear her now saying.....

Trick or treat if I don't get my hot dog with mustard AND ketchup!  Mustard AND ketchup!   But...NO RELISH!  NO RELISH!

            (The end.  And maybe the end of no ketchup!)  

 
  ------------------------------------------------------------------ 


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day #260 by janet s. tiger  no ketchup!  (c) oct 30, 2014

10/30/2014

0 Comments

 
   Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 260 by Janet S. Tiger  No Ketchup!   Oct. 30, 2014 

                                             No Ketchup!
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com 

            (A much older lady comes onstage - she is in what is politely called 'a rage.'  She is brandishing a cane like a baseball bat.)

Didn't you hear me the first time?  I said no ketchup!  Mebbe I didn't say it loud enough- NO KETCHUP!

             (She waves the cane around as if searching for the culprit)

How many times do I have to tell you idiots in this little box!  They say old folks are deaf, well how come you can't hear me when I say NO KETCHUP!   I may be gettin' old, but I know what I want - and I want......LISTEN CLOSE!  ONE HOT DOG WITH MUSTARD AND NO KETCHUP!

That is the only way to eat a hot dog!  Anything else is like a sacrilege to God, who invented hot dogs himself!  So he should know! 

            (She leans on the cane for a moment to catch her breath)

Whew!   But my Daddy told me, if you wanna do somethin', do it right, and do it right the first time.  And if you don't want somethin', let people know....he was the one who showed me what to put on food - and I never forgot - ketchup is for hamburgers!  Mustard is for hot dogs!  I have lived my life with these standards and I am not stopping today just because I am 87 years old!

           (She gets off the cane and waves it around)

So, listen good!  I do not wanna get my hot dog and bite into it and see ketchup!  Like eatin' blood!   I do not wanna see red or I will see red!  Get me?  

Let me say again to be clear......(builds)  ...No ketchup.....No ketchup.......NO KETCHUP......NO KETCHUP.........NOOOOOOOO!   KEHHHHHHTCHUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Takes a deep breath)  No ketchup.
 
            (Listens)

Thank you.
  
             (She takes some money from her purse and turns to leave, stops, looks back, shakes her cane)

Don't let them make you eat ketchup if you don't wanna!  Just remember....No ketchup!  No Ketchup!

             (She marches out chanting with her cane held high.  For her, the end of ketchup.....on hot dogs)  

------------------------------------------------------------------ 


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day # 259 by janet s. tiger  frpzen (daughter) (c) oct. 29, 2014

10/29/2014

0 Comments

 
      Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 259 by Janet S. Tiger     Oct. 29, 2014 

                                                Frozen (daughter)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com 

 See Day # 256 Mother's Choice and Day # 258 Frozen -opening

            (This is the daughter - she is in her thirties, very angry at her mother, who is totally involved with keeping her son alive and finding a way to help him.) 


You would say that, wouldn't you, mom?  That wolves chew off their feet to save their children.   But I think that's to get out of a trap.  Whatever.  But it really doesn't matter what either of us say, because it was always about Tommy - even before the accident.  He was the football hero, he was the funny one.  You never cared about anything I wanted!
            (Puts up a hand, irritated)
And don't tell me that you don't think I should speak this way in front of my brother!
            (Shouting)
Mom, he can't hear us!  He hasn't heard us in 7 years!   You made me have my wedding in this stupid hospital - you have forced me to live my life in his shadow, well I am finished with it!

And for God's sake, don't tell me (imitates, has heard this many times) 'Once you have a child, you'll understand.  You'll know that you can sense if your child is gone.   There's something about it you cannot explain, but you'll know it when you see it.  And you will do anything to keep that child alive.  You'll see.  It doesn't matter if every doctor on the face of the earth tells you - you will know the truth and you will make sure that everything you can do is done to keep your child alive.'
           (She calms, looks at her mother)

Would you do the same for me?  If it was me, would you be visiting every day, reading me books?  Making sure the nurses are nice to me?  Would you, Mom?

          (Her head jerks- she has been slapped.  She turns to leave, holding her cheek, stops, looks back)

(Very cold)   I may not know a lot, according to you, but one thing I know is, if I have a child and the doctors say he's dead, I will be the one to say 'pull the plug!
          (She exits, end of scene)


------------------------------------------------------------------ 


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 258 by janet s. tiger  frozen (c) oct. 28, 2014

10/28/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 258 by Janet S. Tiger   Frozen (opening)   Oct. 28, 2014 

                                                  Frozen (opening scene)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
                            (We see a young man on a hospital bed, he is not moving at all, with all types of tubes in him.  The sound of machines beeping.  He suddenly sits up and the tubes remain behind.  He looks around, starts to smile and jumps out of bed, now starts laughing and then, skipping.   He looks at the audience,smiles.)

Pretty good for a guy in a coma, huh?
Well, watch this.   

             (He does a handstand/cartwheel.)
It's amazing what you can do in your head.  I realized I have to talk to someone, and since no one can hear me speak, I'll have to talk to all of you in my head.    

            (Points to the back)  You, Coach Richardson - I could always talk with you about anything.   And you gave me good advice.   And over there (he indicates someone in the front)  Aunt Ella, I'm gonna sit and have some cookies with you and make you laugh and laugh!   

             (He eats a cookie and bends over laughing)
And I can talk to you anytime I want!  

             (He goes back to the hospital bed and points at it.)
I've been in there over five years now.  

            (Indicates the bed.)   

At first, I wanted to die.   You see, I cannot move a muscle.  Interesting expression.  But this is the situation -   

             (He illustrates while talking)

...I was 23, in good shape, just had dinner with my friends....(rubs his stomach)  we had steak....I remember how delicious it was....and .I was driving home (indicates a steering wheel)   I hadn't been drinking......but the guy in the other car was wasted .....................so... BOOM!  

I wake up here, and when I try to move....nothing.   But I can hear everyone talking - and worse, I can feel everything!   Every bone that was broken, every time they jab me....I can feel the pain, but no one knows.
It's kind of like being invisible...or frozen.  The only one who knows I'm still in here is my mother.   She comes every day, and she talks to me, and (this is hard for him) she tries to get them to understand that I'm still in here.
But no one listens to her either.   Well, they pretend to listen.  But they're humoring her, I can tell.   They feel sorry for her.   Her only son, and he's a vegetable and she's just watering him.
(Deep sigh)  The first few months I wanted to die.  I prayed to die.   I prayed to reach my mother to let me die.  And then I realized I was like a tree, only not growing.  A petrified tree.  (Laughs a little)
And then I realized that since people didn't know I could hear them, they would say things and do things.
Like Nurse Gonzales......(he bends over to indicate a little nurse, imitating her voice).......Mister Bautner, I am going to change you now, please excuse me.  Ooh, you have a little doody today.......I am going to clean it up and you will be all nice and fresh....
(Back to himself)  In some ways I feel like an animal - people see an animal, but assume the animal doesn't understand.   (Changes)  But what if the animal did understand?  What if he heard something that the person figured he never would be able to act upon.....That's why I don't want to die anymore, you see....I know something.   Knowledge IS power.  It is the power that is keeping me going.  It is the inner strength that now has me praying to have my mother find a way to help me - rather than let me die.
You see.....someone told me a secret.  Actually, many people tell me secrets - most of them are very boring.  The man who cleans this room for the last year has a girlfriend in the pharmacy - and a wife in Mexico.  The nurse who used to give me sponge baths is addicted to soap operas.  Everyone has a secret to tell me - like I was a priest....a silent priest......it helped pass the time.....and then... (he is remembering) ...then.....someone told me a different kind of secret.   A very bad secret.  They figured their secret was safe with me!  That I could never repeat it, because I..... never heard it.   

But the person who told me had no idea that knowing this secret has inspired me to live so that I can.....(stops to listen)  They're coming back...a nurse, a doctor, a janitor...a visitor?   No, not after 5 years.   Probably just someone to check my diaper.  That's always fun.  So ..... I think I'll get back into my body.
              (He moves towards the bed.)

What's the secret?  (Laughs loudly)  Do you think you can get away with hearing it in only a few minutes?  What has taken me years of being frozen to hear?  (Holds up his arms)   Okay, I'll give you a clue....someone died....and no one knows it was murder....except the murderer.....and me....

             (He gets into the bed as we hear voices coming.  Blackout.)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Frozen has another monologue - Day # 256 
------------------------------------------------------------------ 


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day #257 by janet s. tiger  dis pair (c) oct. 27, 2014

10/27/2014

0 Comments

 
     Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 257 by Janet S. Tiger  Dis Pair    Oct. 27, 2014 

                                                     Dis Pair
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
               (A well-dressed black man enters, he holds a bag with a box in it.  He has a slight Southern drawl.)


Son, on the wondrous event of your twentieth birthday, I am truly concerned about you....

            (Raises his hands)

No, don't try to argue.  You can deny it, but 'de- nile- is not just a river in Egypt.'  Sorry, you know I love these awful puns, it is a curse and a blessin'......I think it's genetic.......

Now I understand that bein' a young man in these times is not easy.  And bein' a black young man is even more difficult.....

So, on this day of your birthday, early, before anyone else is up to start huggin' and handin' over gifts you really don't need, I am gonna give you a present my daddy gave to me when I was twenty, and his daddy gave to him when he was twenty, and his before him, all told, eight generations of the Mason family.  Over one hundred  and fifty years.  An heirloom.  Truly special.

It is a gift which I feel has stood our men well over these many years, held us together when times got tough, and boy, they have been tough.  I only hope you can pass this along to your son when he turns twenty, because chances are good, he will need it, too.

So, without further ado, I give you.......dis pair.....  And I hope dis pair will change your life forever...

           (He removes a box from the bag, which he opens to show his son)

Dis pair....get it?  Dis pair....of shoes!  Oh, how we love these silly puns!

          (Holds up the box)

Dis pair will help you know the truth about life, about other people, and how to be a man.....

          (Laughs)

That's right, I'm talkin' about dis pair.......of old shoes....but not just any old pair of shoes, no, this pair is THE pair of shoes that was worn by your great-great-great-great- and five more greats but you know what I mean......your truly great grandfather on the day he was freed from slavery, at the end of the Civil War.

Pretty ugly, huh, dis pair......but lemme tell you, they were even uglier when he wore them as a slave.

Now....you get to wear them.  One mile you get to walk in these shoes before we put them back into the box so they stay nice and dry for your son one day.  One mile so that you can feel what it felt like to be a slave.... and then free.

           (Listens, nods head)

When my daddy did this for me, I thought he was nuts, too, but I put on dis pair, and he and we walked together for one mile down by the creek.  We can do the same thing if you want, or we can go into town, or take a ride on the bus or train, whatever mile you want, son, it's your choice, because you are a free man. 

And these shoes are for rememberin' that we weren't always free, and that it is our job, each of us, to keep that freedom so many have died to get.

When I walked in these shoes for that mile, I was just twenty, and I had just come back to visit after I had been ....how had they put it so politely?.....asked to leave college.  Kicked out.  Full scholarship and I had blown it, just as you are about to do now with those friends of yours, those friends who go to college, too, but waste their time smokin' and drinkin' and playin' those stupid video games.  Not that I didn't play those games back a few years ago, but these shoes are no game.  Life is no game.....

And you have your whole life ahead of you, and I want you to know what life could have been....so you might re-think some of your choices.  Now just like you are thinkin' right at this minute, I thought my daddy was nuttier than that cashew tree, but somethin' happens when you walk in... dis pair....

           (He walks slowly around the stage, head bowed)

....it's almost as if...as if you are back in that time, that you can feel the chains on your soul, the whip on your back........

           (He shudders as he moves)

We finished our walk and I put away the shoes, and got into my car and drove back to college and begged the dean for one last chance.  I said I wanted to be outta my fraternity, away from all the temptations!  I would live anywhere else, on the dean's back porch, I would wash his car, but I would cut out all the crap and finish college.  And I did.  And the next year was the year our team got to the Final Four...first and only time we ever did......because of ....dis pair........and because I was seen by millions on TV, I got dozens of offers of jobs, and I have had a good life, just like you can, if you take what you learn to heart.    And to soul….(smiles)  especially the soles of your feet!

            (He holds out the shoes)

I have faith you can do this, son......let's go, it's time for us to take a walk.

          (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Dis pair.  The best mile you will ever walk is in...dis pair.......

          (He laughs as exits...not in despair)

------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 256 by janet s. tiger mother's choice (c) oct. 26, 2014

10/26/2014

0 Comments

 

       Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 256 by Janet S. Tiger  Mother's Choice      Oct. 26, 2014 

                                               Mother's Choice (from Frozen)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
                    (This is a mother, and it shows.  She is no longer young, but still has fight left in her.  She is tired, and yet, there is a great strength that burns in her, and she is telling the doctor what fuels that strength.)


People ask me if this is my worst nightmare.   I tell them my worst nightmare was thinking that my baby boy was dead.   Now that I know he's not, this is not a nightmare, it is a journey.

All lives have a journey.  Every journey is different.

Is mine worse than a mother who finds out her baby is dead inside of her and that she can have no more children of her own?

 I don' think so.   I have had my Tommy for 28 years - five have been in this coma, but before that, he was a lively fellow, and I was very proud of him.   He was the star running back on the football team.  He is a tough but funny young man who loves to laugh.

I say 'is' because I know he is still in there.   I can feel it.   If I for one moment felt he was dead, I would have let them pull that plug at the very beginning.
But I knew then, and I know now he is my Tommy, and even if every person on this earth told me I was wrong, I would not care.

It's funny, at the very beginning, when he was still healing from the crash, I could tell he didn't want to be alive.  I could hear it in my heart.  And I would cry when I got home because I didn't want him to see me with doubts.   But that was just the pain talking.  I knew there would come a day when he would realize that life is better.  That every person has a reason for living.
That's why I come every day to talk with him.

Sometimes at the start I hired other people, but I realized that they did not believe like I do, and I never wanted him to feel he was alone.

(This builds)  Today he may be unable to move one muscle in his body.  He may have to have every physical need attended to by strangers.  He may have to eat with a tube and be subjected to every kind of human indignity possible - but he is in there!  And one day, he will be better, because I know that there has to be another person who believes like I do, that where there is life, there is hope!  I know now that is not you, Dr. Evans, but that does not mean I will give up!

          (She takes her coat and puts it on, still angry.  She turns to go, stops, looks back)

And if I have to spend every last day of my life to find him, to get a doctor who believes like I do, then that is  what my life is to be - that is my journey.

           (She exits, end of scene.)
------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 255 by janet s. tiger operation firefly (opening) (c) oct. 25, 2014

10/25/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day# 255 by Janet S. Tiger  Operation Firefly - opening scenes    Oct. 25, 2014 
      Another monologue from this movie is on Day #58

                                             Operation Firefly (opening scenes)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
             (It is dark and there is the sound of men breathing, then the sound of something...is it a person running?  The visuals are fast, frightening, soldiers running, a glimpse of something, then the face of a frightened soldier, and another soldier who is in charge.  Everything stops suddenly, breaths are held and there is a shot that rings out.  Blackness.

            Then laughter, and we see the soldiers, all black, around a campfire, roasting a small animal, enjoying a story that will grow over the years.  One of the men takes a bite off a stick, and is very happy.  This is Jonah, and he is a big guy, and he waves the stick in the air)

Whoooeeee!  Well, this is the best meal I've had since I been in this here army!  Mmmmm.....and this is the most excitement we have had since we have joined this here army and come to this goddamned place in the middle of nowhere!

Damned rabbits!  At least we get a midnight snack, well, I for one will not be here for much longer, my friends......

            (The others are amazed and respond with surprise)

 That's right, my friends, I am gettin' outta here, to some place better'n this!  And I am gonna get to jump outta planes!

            (He illustrates by leaping to his feet and then going to a rock and jumping off)
 The others laugh and point.  He listens, laughs)

 I heard you, Walter.  (Imitates a high pitched voice, mocking)  'Drop outta planes?  What the hell you talkin' about?  They musta dropped you on your head when you was a baby!'


You heard me - I am gonna be a paratrooper, jump into the middle of the German lines....or the Japs, and I am gonna kill me a million of 'em.  And I'm gonna write back to alla you here, on this goddamned hot desert and you are gonna wish you signed up with me!

It's a buddy of mine, from back when we were in school together, and he wrote me and told me it was a top secret mission, and they only want us.  Can you believe it?  Only us.  So I said 'hell yeah!' anythin' to get me the hell outta this boilin' hot place with food so spicy and no decent ribs for a thousand miles!  I would sign up with the devil himself to make sure I was gonna get outta this place!

And I am givin' alla you the same opportunity!    We can sign up together!  They need a whole  10 platoons - 300 guys!  We can do it!  Come on!  Are you gonna sit here and sweat out every night on this border knowin' that not one Jap is tryin' to sneak through these damn cactusus when they have perfectly good submarines! 

Are you gonna wait for another damn rabbit to give you a tiny bit of excitement and a story you gonna make up for your family?  Are you gonna be men....army men?  Or are you gonna be......

             (He stamps his foot down and picks up a small animal by the tail)

Mice?

          (Next shot will be of Jonah and his friends in a truck, with his buddies shaking their heads.  End of scene)

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Based on a true story - http://triplenickle.com/history.htm 
Another monologue from this movie is on Day #58

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
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monologue mania day # 254 by janet s. tiger the sad tail of lord ratburn (c) oct. 24, 2014

10/24/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day # 254 by Janet S. Tiger  The Sad Tail of Lord Ratburn   Oct. 24, 2014 
      
                                  The Sad Tail of Lord Ratburn
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
                    (A man  comes on stage, dressed in gray.  Very gray.  All gray.  Gray hair, beard too, he  has on perhaps a grey grey suit and grey hat and a very gray tail that he is holding in his hand. He is smoking a cigarette.   He has a veddy British accent.) 

Well hello hello my name is Lord Ratburn...that is correct... Ratburn, not with an 'h' like Rathburn, although I am filled with the grapes of wrath.  (Louder)  Rathburn!  You see, I come from a very long and illustrious line of rats.  My ancestors crawled in the castles of kings and queens!
Now, some people might think that rats are not worthy of living on this earth.
But, I remind you silly humans on this senior channel that there are more of us than there are of you ...so keep an eye open when you sleep at night! that rustling you hear may be one of us.....one of my family.  Well, maybe not my descendants.
           (He is very affected now, wipes a tear away)
Why do I cry?  It is simple.  I am here today because I have a sadness on my family.   I am the very last of my line, my other relatives- every last one of them.....(very dramatic) ....DEAD!  Murdered by your delicious treats that are filled with horrible chemicals that make us dehydrate horribly - it is a terrible death!
The only reason I live is because I am for some genetic anomoly, I am immune to your poisons.
I have watched my family decimated, parents, siblings, all my wives!  Yes, I tried to procreate but it seems that the same ability to resist your poison also renders me sadly.....unable to reproduce.... impotent. 
Not that I haven't tried....many times.   To no avail.  It is a blank legacy I leave behind....andI am sure you are all happy to hear this. I am NOT.
But I hereby inform you that I will, to my very last moments on this fair planet  (thinks)  oh, what a fair planet!  But until my last breath I will search up your yummy foods that you keep in your cupboards..... I will sleep in the clothing in your closets..... and  I will poop where ever I please .....maybe even in your drawers!
 And I will say that the death of my family will be avenged because you will never know where I will be seen. I have lived for many years and I will leave behind a legacy of insurrection second only to that of the colonies so many years ago. A regular rat revolution!
              (He indicates the lighter for his cigarette)

You see this?

This is a weapon as well as a warmer.  One of my dear relatives was caught by a horrid little man who thought it would be very amusing to light my uncle's tail on fire and watch him burn alive.  Is it any reason I am cynical?  Angry?  Ready to kill?

And then my uncle, who was a very smart rat, saw his tail was on fire and jumped onto the horrid man, who became very upset, and kicked my uncle onto the grass of the back lawn.

Which was very dry, and my uncle ran through the grass, lighting it afire!  The horrid murderer was also screaming, as his shirt was burning through, so he could not catch my uncle when my uncle ran into the horrid man's house, and proceeded to set the entire place ablaze!

It was a feat of great daring, bravery and wisdom, as my uncle's final act was running up the tailpipe of the man's car.

The explosion finished off the house and garage - and it is a tale told often around many a cheese.

Why do I tell you this?  Because it is time you humans realized that you have been vicious, and hurtful and nasty and not particularly nice to your fellow animals.....and now we want you truly understand that.... you .(says this loudly and clearly)......are...... not alone!

One day we, that is all of us!   All the animals and insects will put aside their differences, and work together, and humans will not have a chance.  Between the ants, and the birds and we rats, combined with the billions of other insects and animals......we are superior!  We just need to take a lesson from your American Natives - we must forget our past of fighting each other, and we must stop eating each other, and focus....on eating all of you!

             (Very loud, very angry)

We will not go quiet into that good night!  We will Rage, rage against the dying and my plight.....this is a rodent's story, full of sound of furry......

 Think about it the next time you put out one of those horrid traps....or the dreaded poison that decimated my entire clan.......

          (He takes his tail grandly and turns to leave, stops, looks back)

We are watching you.....

          (He takes the lighter and goes to light his tail as he exits....end of scene, but not of ....Lord Ratburn's legacy!)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 253 by janet s. tiger backstory (c) oct. 23, 2014

10/23/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
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Monologue Mania Day# 253 by Janet S. Tiger   Backstory  Oct. 23, 2014 
      
                                                   Backstory
                                             (for the Senior Channel)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
              (The wheelchair rolls on and the man in it is bent over.  He faces the audience with great difficulty, removing his hat, he has a very slight Southern accent.)

Hello, my fellow old people on this senior channel.....please forgive me for not getting up, I no longer  have that option, but as you can see, I have removed my hat out of deference to the kind ladies watching.

And, unlike others I have heard on this channel, I will also be careful not to use language that would offend those innocent ears.

I am here today to give you my backstory.....as I am an actor who loves to still be the center of attention when I can.

My back story is simple....I was born, I lived life to its fullest, and my back is killin' me....literally.  I have some awful thing that has spread to my spine, which sounds bad enough, but it also allows me to receive some heavy duty medication.  Medication that, when I used it in my youth, almost put me in jail!   But I was lucky, and only ended up in a hospital, where I met a nurse....could you see that twist?.....who became my first wife and the mother of my children.  Some who give me great pleasure, others....well, we all know that part of the story.

As an actor, I know that the climax is the most vital part of the story.  As in many life events, people will put up with almost anything for a great climax!

So, for those of you waiting for my funeral, and I know there are a few, I plan to have all my money spent sayin' goodbye to all the friends and some of the family I loved so well.

For all you watching, you are invited, too!  Please keep tuned to this channel for the latest, I hope to see you all there!

          (He sits up straighter and starts to wheel out, stops, looks back)

Because, my friends, I plan to attend my funeral while still alive!

           (He rolls off laughing....to a great end.)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments

monologue mania day # 252 by janet s. tiger the lobster story (c) oct. 22, 2014

10/22/2014

0 Comments

 
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

 If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day,
 click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day  # 252 by Janet S. Tiger   The Lobster Story  Oct. 22, 2014 
      
                                                   The Lobster Story
                  (from Time Travel Cafe - expanded today for a fuller backstory)
                              A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com


                       (Guy walks out and takes a big drink of coffee, puts down the cup, wipes his mouth)
(Hard to say)  You see, my Dad walked out on us when I was five, and I swore I would never do that to my kids.  And now look at me, I'm doing the same thing.  Ok, my boy's 10, does that mean I get a prize for waiting an extra five years?  But I can't stay with her!  I mean, I don't think I can.....I feel like, like a ……a lobster.... 

                     (He looks at the waitress)

I see you laughing, but you know
how they cook lobsters in fancy restaurants?  They put em into warm water, so the lobster is happy, cause it's like a hot tub, and the lobster starts looking around - look at all these cute girl lobsters!  What a great night!  For a very few minutes everything is just perfect, the water, the girls......no one ever knows what's about to happen.... And then the heat is turned up....               (He takes off his tie.) And the lobster starts thinking, hmm,  forget about the girls, better get out of here, it's getting too hot for me, and he tries to climb out and .......    

           
(Getting desperate)
….there's no way out!  The walls are too slippery, and it's damn hot now.....and then...                 (He is frantic now, looking for a way out, his shirt is off) And then, you feel it's getting beyond hot, that you have that mortgage, and your wife wants a new car, which you can't really afford, but you say yes because maybe one of those girls in the office who just got outta school, and she's real cute maybe you want her to see you in a new car......
     
          (He puts his hands on a wheel, drives around the stage)


So you give your wife your old car.....and then.....and then she takes the car one day and finds something in there ....under the seat maybe......                 (He takes a pair of fancy lady's underpants from his pocket) And that's it....you're boiled.  It's the same story, the same lobster........                 (He goes to the table, sits, his head is heavy) You know how it ends.....delicious for someone, but.....

                (His head is almost on the table) Not so good for the lobster......

               (His head drops on the table.  Lights out.  End of scene) ------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------
0 Comments
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    Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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    Janet S. Tiger’s award-winning plays and monologues have been produced internationally and are currently in popular anthologies in the United States and Canada.

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