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monologue mania day # 230 by janet s. tiger a new movement (c) sept. 30, 2014

9/30/2014

monologue mania day #229 by janet s. tiger celebrity (c) sept. 29, 2014

9/29/2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day # 229 by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 29, 2014
                               Celebrity
(from the play of the same name, started 9/2011)                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com

                 (We see a man onstage, MONTE CAMDEN -he is in his - wait, how old is     he?   Maybe 45, but tries to look younger - or is he 50?   He is dressed Hollywood chic - black T-shirt and black suit jacket, blue jeans, sunglasses which he has on his head, not his eyes.   He talks fast, and is very excited.)
The question is not how much percentage I want, the question is - are you ready to be... a celebrity?

You think I don't know what’s goin’ on with you?   I know everything about you. It's my job to know. How do you think I arrived an hour before the magazine reporter? Luck?   No way.   I'm here early because when you sign with me, I'll have just enough time to get you ready for that interview.

How do I know you're interested? Easy, because I know you want to be a celebrity!   And you're smart enough to do what it takes. (Laughs ) Sure you're smart, you were smart enough to play dumb - in front of the whole damn country!
You see, right now, only I know that you planned the whole routine with that stupid remark on that beauty contest show. And...your boyfriend had a TV friend show the youtube video......(Smiles) ...And..... I know that your Southern accent is a big fake, just like the rest of you.   You think you covered your tracks, and you did a pretty good job....but if I could find you, so can others. You see, I know how to fix that. One call and that stuff all disappears, just like your brown hair and your Midwest accent did when you moved to that little town in western Georgia.

(Laughs louder now) You think you know what celebrity is because the cameras and lights and microphones have been shoved in your face all week, but you have no idea what you have stepped into.   That's right, you have an amazing opportunity, you have video and aural recognition throughout this last week, most people have either seen and/or heard you! And you are going to not take advantage because you are like a babe in the woods.   That's where I come in.

(He takes off his glasses and cleans them with his shirt tail.)

Do you know what celebrity is?   (Gives a pause to build)

Celebrity is...... war.

That's it - plain and simple. Or really, as my Dad used to say - insane and pimple.   That's right, I've been in this business from before I was born - I know people and where the bodies are buried for three generations.

Celebrity is a battle for who gets the limelight, and even with the Internet, the facts are still the same as they were years ago - people only have a limited imagination and if you can capture that, you are the one they think about.   Talent is actually kind of irrelevant!   Tons of people have talent.....my mother could play the piano like an angel.   But she didn't want to be famous - and you do. That is the key - the desire to be ....(flourish) a celebrity!   And that means to do all the things necessary, all the time. To fight - and to fight hard - to stay on those front lines.   To smile even when you're tired, to be thinking every minute - of every day - how you can stay in that light - or how to get back if someone has eclipsed you. .....and honey, let me tell ya - you will be eclipsed!

You have a very small window of opportunity. It is a half-life that starts ticking as soon as the camera hits you the first time.   How long have you had that spotlight on you?   You say a week. It's a week ago, which is, in reality, eight days.   And you are in the super crucial week two - still around, but fading fast.

What will you do to keep in that spotlight?   Do you know?   Have you thought it out?   Sure, you have a few gigs - whada they pay?   Fifteen grand, twenty if you're lucky.

I am talking about getting you onto a movie - not a big part, but the bimbo girl who almost steals the guy.   I know you can act because I saw you do it in front of the whole country!   You were prepared with what, twenty great responses- fifty? and you made it seem like you just thought of it! You acted stupid and that is the sign of a great actress, so you could steal this movie, and I can get you half a mill, maybe even a full one if we can squeeze the pimple for some more publicity in these next few days.

(Listens, waves his hands)

What does it mean? Okay, I'll be clear.

You see, I have a client, and he needs to be seen with a woman.   Understand?   You know who he is - he was in that big action movie last year, with the giant insects from Mars, and then he had the misfortune of trying to pick up a man dressed as a lady of the night - with a TMZ reporter driving by.

So, he is in a pickle - and you are the pickle-picker that he could use.   He's seen you on TV and- of course - he fell in love with you immediately, and when you say yes to my representation, he will be on a plane to meet you and be seen with you drinking and coming back here to your room tomorrow. And TMZ will somehow find out about this, and before they take your picture kissing Mr. Pickle goodbye, you will have on your make-up and be ready with some more choice lines for the press....

(Building to a crescendo)You see what I mean...I know how to stop the slide!
People know you, they recognize you, and then.....you are dating a famous actor. No one cares if you have any talent, but ..... You will be famous!   And you will stay in the full frontal view of the whole American people!     Nothing else will matter – and I mean NOTHING! The economy could be in the toilet, war might be breaking out on three continents, but that doesn't matter because YOU and Lindsey Lohan had a lesbian orgy!

Before you say yes, I want you to think about what this will mean to your life. To stay in the public eye, you are going to have to do things that you may not like, that your family may not like, that I can guarantee you your boyfriend here is gonna hate. (Starts to really build this) You will have to be seen with people, and have pictures taken....
(He spins around, building up momentum) ......and you and your boyfriend here will need to have a very public fight and possible rendezvous while you are with someone else . He will have to date others as a shield, and you might have to look drunk and do rehab and reveal how hard it was to do rehab and fall off the wagon - you will have to gain weight and lose it, at one point you may have to break up a marriage,and if absolutely necessary there is always the possibility of a near death car crash!......(Calms a little) ...and this is just year one!

Now you say 35 per cent is high for what I'm doing - hell, I should ask more!   Your mathematical boyfriend here should be able to figure out that 100 per cent of 20 grand is not as good as 65 per cent of a million!

Have I sold you?   I hope so. I think you can do it - you have the drive and the smarts to do what it takes. You've gotten this far by making quick decisions, now, you have exactly two minutes to make this one, because time is money and that reporter will be here very soon.   And if you say no, I am on my way to the next Youtube nutcase and I can almost guarantee that in two weeks, you will be the proverbial paper under the birdcage in terms of how people think of you.

Gone.    You have worked too hard to get here, so you decide - are you ready to be a celebrity?   You have two minutes....

           (He puts his sunglasses on and starts to walk off, stops, looks back.)
Two minutes ........to get your fifteen minutes of fame.......

           (He smiles, then exits. The end)
---------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------

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monologue mania day # 228 by janet s. tiger a birthday unpresent (c) sept. 28, 2014

9/28/2014

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monologue mania Day # 227 by janet s. tiger fault lines (c) sept. 27, 2014

9/27/2014

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monologue mania Day # 226 by janet s. tiger bertha's story (c) sept. 26, 2014

9/26/2014

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monologue mania day # 225 by janet s. tiger probably (c) sept. 25, 2014

9/25/2014

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Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day # 225 by Janet S. Tiger Probably Sept. 25, 2014
                                                                          Probably (for CRIME)                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (A man comes out onstage. This is a powerful man, a man with power. He exudes confidence, and he is annoyed. He has a cigarette, but it is not lit.)
They’re gonna sue me – whoooooeeeeee!.....well that puts a lot of fear into me! (Laughs) The first big guy I worked for was in real estate, and he was full of good advice. He told me (imitates accent) ‘You ain’t nobody until you been sued!’ and then he’d chuckle and add , ‘and you ain’t somebody until you been sued – and lost!’

He taught me that being sued was like being in a war – and there were two important things that you learned when you were sued and you lost– (he imitates accents and counts on his fingers, too) number one, you can get over it. And number two….you never want to lose again.’ You know how many lawsuits I’m involved with now? Twenty- five – and eleven are against me personally. I don’t give a…(stops himself, remembers to watch his words carefully)…it doesn’t matter to me what people think of me or what they think about my papers. I only care if they read them! (Smiling) And they do love to read them! With all the Internet stuff, and Facebook, and Twitter and Twatter.....Why do you think people are still interested in my papers? Because they want something to look at where another person has made some decisions for them. Don’t get me wrong, computers are great, but on a computer, you have to know where to go. Do you waste your time on this site or that? Will you get a virus from the one over here that looks funny? Will your computer crash and burn because you thought a video was cool? People pick up my papers and read them because they are interested in the same things people have been interested in since the cavemen! They don’t have to think – someone else – one of my brilliant editors has chosen a great article for them…

(He holds up a paper and thumbs through.) There – a chicken with two heads! Now you don’t see that every day at Walmart! And better yet, the chickens talk to each other…and better yet, they talk to the farmer who discovered them….there -that is a story to remember! And tell your friends! What about this one?          (He points to a page) 'Teacher Fired For Threatening to Kill Students With a Robot!' (Laughs) I didn't even have to make anything up....I mean.....'embellish' this one! We did do a great Photoshop of a Killer Robot....that was a big winner on the sharing side for Facebook!         (He closes the paper) (Thinks) My experience is that people love murders – but only some of them. Most murders are committed by family members, friends, lovers…people we know. The truth is....they are horrible, and they are sad....... and boring because ......there’s no mystery! (He perks up) But a young innocent child gets abducted and everyone is alert! Why? Because it is our worst fear….a stranger…a monster is after us, after our children. (Stops to think) I have a daughter, same age as the first one killed. We live in the same county where this happened. So…my wife and I are very careful – we screen everyone who works for us with the methods the FBI uses. My daughter never walks to school. I can protect my children from most danger…probably. Even though I’m careful, I know that no one can prevent every problem – luck is a huge factor in all life. That’s why everyone wants to know what happens to these missing kids – because….it could be someone we know, the kid down the street….our kids. (Gets angry again) Do I think that what I did affected the outcome of the case? Absolutely not! If anything, I helped the police! I have the best computer geeks I can buy – and that’s why I had them hack into that missing girl's cell phone – the cops didn’t even think of it for two whole days! And I’m sorry if the messages were deleted! We saved copies! And I’m really sorry if the cops saw that those messages were gone and thought she was still alive….and the family got their hopes up….that…I’m really sorry about, (very hard) but in the real world, these victims are usually dead within the first 24 hours. And that means five to six. So she was probably dead before we hacked in.

Probably. According to the killer and we know how much we can trust them! If that tunnel-vision detective hadn’t focused on the stepfather, they might’ve found that body sooner – and the other girl wouldn’t be dead, too. The odds – usually it is the male in the household. (Remembering) I knew the stepfather was guilty – I could see it in his eyes. The police were sure it was him, but I knew he didn’t do it.

(Smiles) Whoa….didn’t I just say he was guilty? Yeah – but that was just the way we write it, so you keep reading….He was guilty, but not of hurting her. He was on some TV show and he said – ‘why didn’t I give her a ride that morning? Why did I let her walk? She’d be ok if I hadn’t been late to work….’ He was guilty, the kind of guilt a parent has when we can’t protect our children from everything. It’s the second guessing guilt – ‘if I didn’t let him ride his bike down that steep hill he never would’ve broken his arm’…. ‘if I didn’t let him hang out with those older kids, he never would’ve started smoking dope’ It’s a parent thing. It was in his eyes.

He may have been just the stepfather but he loved that girl and I knew he never hurt her. (Laughs) And that idiot detective put him through like 20 lie detector tests…..amazing! That’s why I had that guy followed – not the father, the detective. See, I did it again! You thought I had the father followed…….I just love to surprise people. That’s the essence of entertainment.

(Back to the law suit.) The police love to blame me, but they don’t want to take responsibility! They hated it that I printed a story about their own mistakes. We were the ones who found out about the DNA! From that girl who got attacked by the lake. (Very taut) If that secretary …(he is very upset)….. had asked for the DNA to be tested immediately….. maybe the second one wouldn’t have been killed! It’s their own fault!

And what about the parole board who let the monster out of the cage? Is anyone suing them? And the parole officers who looked the other way when he violated his parole over 50 TIMES!   And what about those parents? They knew their son was doing something wrong…parents know…..But I’m the one they’re suing….because I have the deep pockets. It’s OK, I make every lawsuit pay for itself. You see, here's the truth of it.....the bigger the lawsuit, the more publicity I get, the more papers I sell. It’s a game….

(He sticks out his chin) And if you don't like the game, don't buy tickets for the front row!
(He straightens his tie, thinks, his shoulders sag a bit)) And like I said, by the time we hacked the phone…she was probably dead…..

              (He turns to leave, but he is still affected, stops, looks back.)
Probably…..
              (He exits. The end.)

-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------

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monologue mania day # 224 by janet s. tiger apples and honey (c) sept. 24, 2014

9/24/2014

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Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day # 224 by Janet S. Tiger Apples and Honey Sept. 24, 2014
                                        Apples and Honey
                                A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (An older man enters pushing a walker. He slowly goes to a table where he sits down. He is dressed nicely, tie, suit, but has on no shoes. As he sits he looks down at his feet.)

I knew I forgot something.

   (He tries to stand, it's hard for him, so he gives up)

Maybe no one will notice.

(He looks at his watch, then shakes his arm, looks again, shakes his head)

Amazing, fifty thousand different kinds of electric things, and they still can't get here on time.

   (He looks up at the ceiling.)

Well, God, I guess I can talk to you until they get here.   I'm not gonna call anyone because everyone I know is either at the synagogue already, or dead. So, that leaves you and me.

(Laughs) I have to say, God, you're a very good listener. And, unlike my daughter-in-law, you never interrupt. Whew, I guess I shouldn't complain about them being late. When they're late, they can't find parking near the temple, so they drop me off and I get to talk with that nice security guard, Brian. And it's cooler outside than inside, so, forget about my complaint. Of course, now that I've rescinded my complaint, they'll probably show up in two minutes and find a place in front, and I will be inside, boiling, before I can say, 'apples and honey.'

I kind of feel sorry for you, God, I mean, it's not as if you don't have a lot of troubles anyhow, but this time of year, I imagine, it gets worse. All the people who don't pay attention to you for most of the year start calling in, and I have never heard that you have a call waiting system, so it's gotta be hectic.

   (He picks up a calendar)

What year is it? 5-7-7-5.......that's a lot of years.......almost sounds like my number.

   (Looks up again)

You know, we've been talking for a lot of years......it seems like just a minute ago......I was 19, I was still in Montreal, you remember? Look who I'm talking to, of course YOU remember. It was not a good Rosh Hashanah that year. My Uncle Sol, he had just gone into the hospital. He was in bad shape, a heart attack, and they didn't know if he was gonna pull through. I loved Sollie, he had raised me after my Daddy had died, so he was the only father I knew.

And I was walking, and it was a late Rosh Hashanah, end of September, already getting cold and I didn't have my coat, so I was shivering on my way to that shul I went to....what was the name? (Struggles to remember) Bet Moshe, that was it! (Happy to remember) They had a rabbi who could talk forever, but the kiddush after the service had the most amazing kugel! Mmm, I can still taste it......

But that night, I wasn't thinking about the kugel, I was walking.....the wind was blowing through my sweater......I was cold and miserable, I didn't even have a cigarette to warm my hands..... and I had lost faith in you, God. I remember thinking, is there really a God? Why should I believe in something I'm not sure exists? And then, I had a brilliant idea.

           (He gets up, reliving the moment)

I was walking down the street, Hutchison, and I was about to get to the corner, and I said, 'if there is a God, if you exist, when I turn this corner, I will see a pack of Craven 'A'cigarettes.......and I held my breath....

          (He takes a deep breath and starts coughing)

Okay, I was younger then......

          (He turns the corner and stares)

And there it was........on the ground.....

          (He leans over, almost falls, but gets the pack and looks at it.)

Amazing! There is a God! And he just gave me a free pack of Craven 'A's........and I said those words out loud, and, coming onto the street from the other direction, a woman saw me, a beautiful woman and she looked at me holding those cigarettes and said, 'you know, it's not good to smoke those, my father's a doctor, and he says it's better to smoke Pall Mall'

And that was it, I fell in love right then. But you know that, God! In case you forgot, she was going to the same shul - and her mother was the woman baking the delicious kugel. Unfortunately, her mother was sick that night, so she was bringing the kugel which she had wrapped up - but I could still smell it!

What a remarkable night!

           (He sits down, smiling and very happy, then suddenly sits up straight)

You know, God, I just realized something......maybe you made Hava's mother get sick that night, so I could meet her daughter.

            (He slaps his hand to his forehead)

My aunt couldn't come because she was in the hospital with Sollie, so she sent me with apples, I never thought of it! We have apples and honey on Rosh Hashanah for a sweet year, and I always called Hava, 'my honey'

Apples and my honey.....all because I wasn't sure you existed! You do work in mysterious ways!

(He hears something)

They're here......I have to go put on some shoes and socks, see you in the synagogue.....

   (He turns to go, stops)

And, God, thank you for a good year.....I hope you have another good one.....for the whole world.....L'shanah Tovah........

   (He shuffles off. The end of a good year, and my best wishes for a Happy, Healthy, Successful Year for all in this upcoming year. L'shanah Tovah Tikatavu)

-------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------

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monologue mania day # 223 by janet s. tiger guilty as charged (c) sept. 23, 2014

9/23/2014

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monologue mania day # 222 by janet s. tiger last scene (crime) (c) Sept./ 22, 2014

9/22/2014

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Monologue Mania Day # 222 by Janet S. Tiger Last Scene (Crime) Sept. 22, 2014 Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 222 by Janet S. Tiger Last Scene (Crime) Sept. 22, 2014
                                  Last Scene (from Crime)                    ( see Day # 219, 220, 221)                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com
          (Lights up on the Detective)
Some cases stay with you. Maybe you feel that you could have done more to solve them. Or sometimes......maybe you got the wrong person. It doesn't happen often.

On TV, the wrong person is convicted half the time. But the sad fact is that most people convicted did the crime......not on TV of course, but in real life.

Sometimes......there is a doubt. I've had a few cases that left that doubt in my head.....not a lot ....less than the fingers on one hand. In three of those four cases, it turns out my doubt was wrong. They had done it....in two of the three, others had helped.

The third, well that was weird - the person who was supposed to be dead, was actually alive, and had tried to collect the insurance using another name. The supposed murderer was supposed to get half the money, but when the dead guy wouldn't pay up, the murderer spilled the beans. It was an oddity, but kind of funny, which can only happen when the dead person turns up alive.

   (He turns serious)

It was the fourth case......

   (He clicks on the slide show)

I guess, I guess I just never believed this guy Clark was a killer. After awhile you get gut instincts about people, and some people you can't see killing anyone.
But he was a drunk and the blood was all over him. And he had the knife in his hand, and all he could remember was....nothing.

There was no real motive, but drunks don't need a motive.

He was truly remorseful, cried at the sentencing, said he liked the old guy, didn't want to kill him, was sorry.

I remember, he had a wife, and he had a little girl, maybe seven, eight years old, and the mother would bring the kid to the trial, and I thought it stunk. But then, one day, I heard her tell the kid that she didn't believe the father did it, and she was gonna stick by him, even though he was a drunk. (Imitates woman) Baby. your Daddy may be a drunk, God knows he is a drunk!..... but he's no killer, he just gets sad when he's drunk......we'll visit him whenever we can.....'

Never forgot that. Stayed in touch with them. The little girl grew up into a nice young lady, and then, I get a call from my friend......I'd told her about my case, and she told me about Bertha Johnston. And then she told me the rest.

You see, the man who killed Bertha was implicated in five other deaths. His fingerprints were there.

Now in the TV shows, there's a lot of car chases and scary arrests and policemen and women getting kidnapped and their friend and family threatened - all kinds of stuff that rarely happens in this country, thank God.

In real life, the arrest is often.....what's a good word...anti-climactic. That's how it was with Bertha's killer. He was stopped for a routine automobile issue - tail light out. And the driver's license was out of state, and had expired, they took the guy in, and he thought he'd been caught on something, and the detective ran his fingerprints, got the same hits the Sheriff in Bertha's town did, and now, he's in custody.

And the Detective decides to go fishing and asks, out of left field really, 'So, why'd you kill that man in Nebraska? ' And the guy goes, 'Which one?'

          (He shakes his head, still can't believe it)

So the detective gets the guy talking, and he confesses to not one or two, but six murders to start!

And then they ran the prints again, and suddenly, it was like Christmas...well, maybe that's a bad analogy, it was like not winning, but solving a lottery.....because this guy had been killing people for over 25 years!

When they told him he was gonna fry, the guy just laughed. He told them he would give details for over ...(hard to say)....over 100 hundred unsolved cases......amazing.....

But only if they didn't kill him....if he fried, the dead people...and their families, would never know.

So......in exchange for the names and the information.....they let the bastard live....I guess it just proves what they say....knowledge is power.

It took literally months to unlock the mysteries.......eventually, there were over 123 confirmed murders. The reason he had never been caught? He never stayed around long. No one ever got to know him......one day, two at most, and he'd be gone......and the dead person, gone, too. He never left the murder weapon, never was seen with the dead people.

He would say, ' Some people like movies, some people like pizza, I like to kill people.'
But Bertha was different. She was nice to him, made him apple pie like his mother used to do. And nagged him to wash his hands, which he never did unless she caught him!   Bertha .....was the only time he stayed.....and he stayed for a month before he killed her. A month in which he helped her on the farm, and when she had a cold, he went into town and shopped for her, and paid her bills.....including the one at the brand new County Water office.

Because Bertha was nice, and my friend here is very smart, and very thorough, and has a little OCD ...and some weird dreams......we caught someone who without doubt would have killed again, until the day he died, or was stopped.

There were 123 murders attributed to this guy, all unsolved, except for one. The one I wondered about....the one where the drunk had gotten sent away for a crime he was too drunk to remember, too drunk to remember because he never committed it. A guy who had been in jail for over 12 years, for someone else's murder.
When I went to see his daughter, to let her know what was happening, because releases take time, I found out that his wife had died.

And his daughter said to me, 'Mom always thought he was innocent, but I knew better.'

But he was innocent! I told her.

'No he wasn't' she said to me- 'he was guilty- guilty of being a drunk. If he hadn't been drunk, he would have remembered what happened.....or even, he would never have been there with other drunks. So, he may be innocent of the murder, but to me, he'll always be guilty.'

He got out of jail, and I still consider him to be one of that guys victims.

Like the families and friends of the dead people....But at least, at least this one time, we could help a little, solve a mystery….. let people know…… who done it.

           (He takes a book from his pocket, opens it and reads)

And the LORD said to Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
And the Lord said, "What have you done? The voice of thy brother's blood is crying to Me from the ground.…

   (He turns to go, stops, looks back)

And that, my friends, is why I became a detective. I am my brother’s keeper.

          (Lights down. The end) -------------------------------------- Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 --------------------------------------------------------

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September 21st, 2014

9/21/2014

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Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
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Monologue Mania Day # 221 by Janet S. Tiger Washing My Hands Of It Sept. 21, 2014
Washing My Hands Of It ( see Day # 219, 220)                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com
          (Lights up on the Crime Scene Investigator from Day #219, 220)
Dead ends. You think you figured it all out, and, no. You hit the blank wall again. Everyone here in this audience understands. The only people who don't understand are the family and friends of the deceased. What can you tell them? You have a photo of the killer, excuse me, (says it with a touch of derision) the alleged killer, and it is of about the same value as a photo of a ghost.

What could I do? I had no time to go through that barn full of Bertha's life...again.
My flight was the next day. I couldn't put it off anymore, there was no more money, and no more time.

            (She walks around the stage as if looking at a room)

I had grown to know Bertha Johnson's home, especially her kitchen, because that's where I spent a lot of time. I think she had, too. My last night.....packed, ready to go....my job finished.... yet not completed, a very unsatisfying feeling......
I was exhausted and irritated and tired.....and yet, all I could think of for some reason was...a nice cup of tea and a warm piece of pie. Funny how food can affect your life! There was only a little milk and a donut left in the refrigerator because I was leaving, so I went to sleep ......and had a dream that Bertha was in the kitchen....

         (She will do both people - in the final play, Bertha may have her own character)

She offered me something to eat......

(As Bertha) How about a nice piece of apple pie? And some tea.....so you can wind down after all the work you've done.....

(as herself) I've seen photos of you, so this is just my mind....making you into a real person.....

(As Bertha) I am a real person....and this is real pie......and it's real good. My pies are always good....

(as herself) Was a real person.....

(As Bertha) No, honey, I'm still real. And I'm not going away until you have some of my pie...
(as herself)   All right....

(As Bertha) Good girl, now you go wash your hands before you eat......
(As herself, laughing) Wash my hands? In a dream? So I won't get sick in the dream? That is funny! Wait a minute, it’s a metaphor, right? In a dream, everything means something else……I have to learn how to wash my hands of this whole thing. Get over that I haven’t helped solve it. Like a hundred others where my work didn’t have any value in catching a criminal…….

             (She looks at her hands)

Out, out, damned case!

(As Bertha) Honey, I really don’t like cussing in my kitchen. Outside, when someone gets kicked by a horse, or a full pail of slop falls on your toes, maybe. So please, watch your language….

(as herself) Sorry, Bertha. I won’t do it again. I love your kitchen.
(As Bertha) So do I. I always liked feeding people when they were hungry. They get this happy look on their face, like you handed them a plate of gold. It makes all the work and washing up…worthwhile.

(Very serious) But everyone has to wash their hands before they eat. That was the first thing my momma taught me, and I had to teach a lotta those boys that came through here. Some a them had no training at all, so I guess that's what I was here for.....to help them learn..... some of them learned, but some of them didn't, and I had to keep reminding them...wash your hands.....

(As herself, laughing) Amazing what the brain does! Wash your hands. Wash your hands.....

            (She stops laughing and looks at her hands.)

That pie in the dream was delicious.......but is was really only there for one reason......to get me to see what I hadn't thought about.....a man who didn’t follow directions, a man with dirty hands.....

           (She lifts up an enlarged photo)

We had tried to get a better look at the killer's face, so we had blown up the video.....enough so we could see the man's hands, too, to see that he had no scars, no tatoos.....but his hands were dirty.....how dirty?

           (She goes to the pile and picks up the receipt)

The Sheriff had dusted this place for fingerprints, but over the years, there had been dozens, maybe hundreds of people through here. It was not possible to figure out who was who.....but when a person's hands are dirty, sometimes......

          (She takes a magnifying glass and examines the receipt)

The dirt can make for a fingerprint.....
.
           (She lowers the receipt, disappointed)
But not here.

          (She turns to shout out the door.)

I’ll be ready in a minute, Sheriff!.......Then I thought of what he had paid with....she hadn't sent cash, she may have been trusting, but she wasn't stupid like that....Bertha always wrote a check.....

          (She goes to another box and removes an envelope.)

Her returned checks from the last statement......

          (Takes out a check that is in a plastic bag)

The final check to pay her last water bill.......she had used ink that was thicker, older people often like that, it reminds them of ink wells, and sometimes just like in the old days....it smudges.....and there might be fingerprints left behind on the back.....
          (She turns over the check and smiles)

All you need is one......and this one was the one.......the Sheriff sent it through CODIS, and as I got on the plane, he told me....we're going to find him.....and when I landed at home, I got the call...
.
(She is very affected by this)

The same fingerprint had turned up in no less than five different locations.....involving five murders.........the most recent, in a town four states away.......

          (She shudders)

If I had figured it out sooner, would that last person still be alive?

          (She looks at the audience, singling out faces)

Would one of your family members still be with you? One of your friends……I guess I can't be too hard on myself, because of some small things I did, he was caught....finally.....
(She turns to leave, then looks back and reaches out her arm to the man sitting on the side)

And that was definitely not the end.....but the beginning of another story.....which I will leave to my friend.

Detective, would you please let them know what happened next?

(Lights down on her, up on the Detective. End of scene, not the end of the story)

--------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8 ----------------------------------------------

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monologue mania day # 230 by janet s. tiger a new movement (c) sept. 30, 2014

monologue mania day #229 by janet s. tiger celebrity (c) sept. 29, 2014

monologue mania day # 228 by janet s. tiger a birthday unpresent (c) sept. 28, 2014

monologue mania Day # 227 by janet s. tiger fault lines (c) sept. 27, 2014

monologue mania Day # 226 by janet s. tiger bertha's story (c) sept. 26, 2014

monologue mania day # 225 by janet s. tiger probably (c) sept. 25, 2014

monologue mania day # 224 by janet s. tiger apples and honey (c) sept. 24, 2014

monologue mania day # 223 by janet s. tiger guilty as charged (c) sept. 23, 2014

monologue mania day # 222 by janet s. tiger last scene (crime) (c) Sept./ 22, 2014

September 21st, 2014

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