Apr. 30, 2014 Day #77 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014

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Apr. 30, 2014 Day #77 Monologue Mania   Until

                                                        Until 

                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved

                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A woman comes out onstage.  She is sweeping and she is cheerful – her age is unimportant, but it is clear that she is no longer young.)

(Happy)  I’m having such a good time!

My mother used to tell me that you have to get something done before you can play.  Her exact words….(imitates a mother, but not harsh)  ‘Sue Ellen Wilkins and Harold Jonathan Wilkins, you may not go and play UNTIL you have finished your chores’

And I would have to make my bed, and either wash the dishes or sweep the floor.

I hated washing the dishes, so I would switch with my younger brother, Harold, and I would sweep and he would wash and we would talk a bit until we were both done, and then we could run out and he would play ball with his friends, and I would go to my best friend Sally Ormand’s house and we would play with her dolls for hours, until it was time for dinner.

And then, after dinner, (imitates mother’s voice) ‘No dessert UNTIL we finish cleaning up!’

It was a very simple thing I learned.

And so I sweep.

I also learned that if I did the same thing with all the parts of my life, my life was also simpler.

            (With each upcoming idea, she will make a new ‘sweep.’

I would not feel that I was ready for the test until I had gotten an A.  And I was not happy until Edward Carruthers asked me to marry him, and then I would not feel secure until escrow closed and we had the house.  And I would not feel fully successful until the children were in school.

And I would worry until they had graduated from college, and gotten married, and I would not rest until I had taken care of Edward, and he was all healed…..(quieter) or buried….. and all the dishes put away.

And I would not feel that everything was all right until I got all my affairs in order before I died.

(Happier again)  And now, I know that I will not be ready to go back to earth until I have finished cleaning this big mess up here in Heaven, because, even though they say things are beautiful, and …..

            (She looks up)

I am not complaining, God, just commenting!  Because it is truly beautiful here, but someone has to pick up after all those angels!  And I actually found out, that when I have an ‘until’ – I am most happy – and since I had a whole lifetime of ‘untils’ – I was really happy for every day of my life.

            (She looks around, takes a deep breath and smiles, taps her broom on the floor)

So, please – (shaking a finger at the audience)  PLEASE - don’t trek in any of those clouds here, please, I just swept!  And, until it’s all cleaned up, UNTIL it’s absolutely spotless, I will be watching you!

            (She smiles and waves, sweeping off the stage, we hear her humming…..’Happy trails to you, UNTIL we meet again….. The end.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Apr. 30, 2014 Day #77 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014

Apr. 30, 2014 Day #77 Monologue Mania   Until

                                                       Until (c)

                                          by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                            tigerteam1@gmail.com

 

            (A woman comes out onstage.  She is sweeping and she is cheerful – her age is unimportant, but it is clear that she is no longer young.)

(Happy)  I’m having such a good time!

 

My mother used to tell me that you have to get something done before you can play.  Her exact words….(imitates a mother, but not harsh)  ‘Sue Ellen Wilkins and Harold Jonathan Wilkins, you may not go and play UNTIL you have finished your chores’

 

And I would have to make my bed, and either wash the dishes or sweep the floor.

 

I hated washing the dishes, so I would switch with my younger brother, Harold, and I would sweep and he would wash and we would talk a bit until we were both done, and then we could run out and he would play ball with his friends, and I would go to my best friend Sally Ormand’s house and we would play with her dolls for hours, until it was time for dinner.

 

And then, after dinner, (imitates mother’s voice) ‘No dessert UNTIL we finish cleaning up!’

 

It was a very simple thing I learned.

And so I sweep.

I also learned that if I did the same thing with all the parts of my life, my life was also simpler.

            (With each upcoming idea, she will make a new ‘sweep.’

I would not feel that I was ready for the test until I had gotten an A.  And I was not happy until Edward Carruthers asked me to marry him, and then I would not feel secure until escrow closed and we had the house.  And I would not feel fully successful until the children were in school.

And I would worry until they had graduated from college, and gotten married, and I would not rest until I had taken care of Edward, and he was all healed…..(quieter) or buried….. and all the dishes put away.

And I would not feel that everything was all right until I got all my affairs in order before I died.

(Happier again)  And now, I know that I will not be ready to go back to earth until I have finished cleaning this big mess up here in Heaven, because, even though they say things are beautiful, and …..

            (She looks up)

I am not complaining, God, just commenting!  Because it is truly beautiful here, but someone has to pick up after all those angels!  And I actually found out, that when I have an ‘until’ – I am most happy – and since I had a whole lifetime of ‘untils’ – I was really happy for every day of my life.

            (She looks around, takes a deep breath and smiles, taps her broom on the floor)

So, please – (shaking a finger at the audience)  PLEASE - don’t trek in any of those clouds here, please, I just swept!  And, until it’s all cleaned up, UNTIL it’s absolutely spotless, I will be watching you! 

            (She smiles and waves, sweeping off the stage, we hear her humming…..’Happy trails to you, UNTIL we meet again….. The end.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

 

Apr. 29, 2014 Day #76 President Bird   Monologue Mania  
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
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-------------------------------

                                                        President Bird  
                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!

-------------------------------Apr. 28, 2014 Day #75 Monologue Mania 

                                     Does This Outfit Make Me Look Dead?     (version #2)    
                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com
            (A teenage girl comes onstage.  And she is clearly worried.  She speaks quietly.)

I was wondering if you could help me.

I'm...looking for a dress.  A prom dress.  This is going to be my first prom.....it's very special.
            (She looks around)

Do you have anything in.....black?

I know, black is a bit different, but you, see, I'm different.  My boyfriend - he's a very sweet guy.  He asked me to in such a nice way....right in front of the whole cafeteria, he and his friends sang me this song.'Will You Go With Me?...(Smiling)  I'll never forget that.  And I helped with the prom - the decorations, and the band is my friend's group, so this is going to be a special night.

        (She listens, takes a dress and holds it to herself, twirls around.)

This one looks good, I think I'll try it on!

         (She whirls away, walks back in, she has the dress on now, walks with a regal air, then listens and laughs)

 No, I'm not into that goth stuff!

Why do I want a black dress? 

Well, that's an interesting story.

You see, my boyfriend and I have been going together for a about a year, and I never figured another guy would ask me out.....but then Zachary did, and he's just a friend, and it was a total surprise!  I never thought he would do anything like that, but he did, and he looked so cute, but then I reminded him about my boyfriend, who he knows, so that couldn't have news to him...

        (She is quiet)

And then when I had to say no, he looked so sad.  I gave him a hug and told him another girl would be happy to go.

And then......(takes a deep breath)

Then he said, well, you're the only girl for me.....and if I can't have you.....

         (She gasps, remembering)

And he took out this knife and stabbed me.....

          (She grabs her stomach)

And it was the strangest sensation!  And I could see the blood and then he slit his wrist and grabbed me and we fell down, and I.....we......died.

So.......I guess, maybe it's not what I expected, but I am going to the prom  after all......I'm just wondering if .......

            (She is quiet) 

If this dress makes me look dead?

             (She whirls around, then out the door.  The end.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Apr. 29, 2014 Day #76 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014

alternate
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!
-------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day #76 alternate post  by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014  Crunch
Apr. 29, 2014 Day #76 Monologue Mania   (Note- Due to complaints, this is a complete original!)

                                                          Crunch
                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (Man comes onstage.  He has a cellphone in his hand, the other on the steering wheel.  He is irritated)

Google speak.  Hello Google!  Wherefore art thou, Google?

           (Listens)

There you are!  Okay, I want to call Mrs. Treadle.  (Listens)  Hello?  Who? ..... No! ..... I did not want to call you!.......  I know we just hung up! ...... So hang up again!.......Gotta go, light's about to change......

           (He now tries to steer, hard to do, but he is roaming around the stage.)

I can never find a place to park!,.......Google speak!  I want to call Mrs. (loud) TREADLE!.......Damn that horn!  No.....Not Mrs. Van Horn!  Mrs. T-R-E-A-D-L-E......

           (He swerves to avoid something, leans out of window)

Damn it!  Watch where you're going!  And take those damn earbuds out!  Didn't you hear someone stupid like you just got run over by a train because they...(loud) ....couldn't hear with their earbuds in so tight!....

            (He honks)

Shit!  (Quickly)  No!  I'm sorry.....is that you,  Mrs. Van Horn?  I don't know how the numbers got confused!  Must be this stupid phone!  Will call you tomorrow!

             (Listens)

I think the connection is going....sorry.....

             (Takes his other hand off the wheel and pushes a button)

Sorry, Mrs. Van Horn!   But I just cannot listen to your bilge this morning!  I said I would call about the stuff I left behind, and I will, but you have nothing better to do - and I DO have something better to do!

(Listens) Why didn't I remember the damn bluetooth!  Google listen - make note to have extra bluetooth in car!

(Listens)  Google now...... Answer phone!

(Listens) Are you kidding, Bethanny?  You're breaking up with me over the phone! ........What?  I should be happy it just wasn't a text?  Or worse....a tweet?   ......are you kidding?  .........Well, you can just kiss my ass!   And you can't break up with me....because I broke up with you first!   .......

               (He pushes buttons furiously.)

Well, I didn't see that coming......

                (Just as he says this, there is a massive crash - he is completely shaken up and tossed around, with the airbag opening up and thrusting him backward, then releasing him as it deflates.  He sits for a moment, takes a deep breath)

But I guess I saw that coming..........

              (He slowly gets out of the car.  Then he takes his phone and looks at it, puts it on the floor and crunches it under his foot, puts it back in his pocket, walks offstage slowly.

The end.  Not the end for him – but he was lucky.  Please don’t use a cell phone and drive!)

 


Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!

-------------------------------
Apr. 27, 2014 Day #74 Monologue Mania 


                                     Does This Outfit Make Me Look Dead?         

                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved

                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A teenage girl comes onstage – she is ……odd.  Odd make-up, beyond goth.  She is wearing an odd…..black dress.  And she is clearly worried.  She speaks.)

Hi…..I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s busy with all the others shopping, too, but could you just help me?

            (She whirls around in the dress)

Whaddaya think?

            (She listens)

I know it’s tough with everyone showing off all these dresses, but I need some help…(a bit excited) ….this is my first prom!

           
            (Smiles, listens)

Thank you!  I was asked by this one guy, Tripper, and he’s ok, I guess, for a zombie, I mean, but I really wanted to go with this other guy, who’s way cooler…I mean he’s the coolest guy in the world!

And then I told the first guy I didn’t know and the prom is next week!  So I was getting nervous, you know, and then Dmitri, that’s the cool guy, ….(sighs)…he has these beautiful blue eyes! ….then he finally  asked me!  (Almost squealing with delight)  Oooh….it was …amazing, he looked right into me and said….’Prom?’  And I said….’Yeah’ and it was like a movie it was so romantic!

            (She whirls again, remembering the moment)

So I really have to find something fast, and this was the one I like most...

            (Listens)

Oh, I know it’s black!  I want it to be black!  It matches my make-up, doncha think? 

            (She pushes her face out and bats her eyelashes.)

Thank you…it takes a long time.   I’m even gonna have a black heart tattoo!

            (Thinks for a minute)

The other guy?  Yeah, I told him – he took it hard, walked right into a wall.  But that’s what zombies do anyhow, right?  I mean, he couldn’t kill himself, could he?  He’s already dead!  Oh, no, (a little disgusted)  I’m not a zombie!   Me, I’m a vampire, and that’s why I want to know –

            (She does a final twirl)

Does this dress make me look dead?

            (Listens, very happy now)

Ooh, thank you!  I’ll take it! 

            (Listens)

A gift?  Wow!  And I didn’t even have to suck it out of you!  Get it?  That’s a vampire joke…..I didn’t say it was a good one, but I really appreciate this!  That gives me the money to save on soles……shoes that is…….  Can you show me something that’ll go with this dress?

            (She exits.  The end, but never the end of vampires!)

                                
Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!

-------------------------------
Apr. 26, 2014 Day #73 Monologue Mania 

                                                        Betcha
                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                               tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A woman walks onstage.  She is smoking.  She waves at the audience.)

Hiya!  This is Gamblers Anonymous.  My name is Agatha, and I am an addict…..I also like to take things I haven’t paid for yet, but that’s another meeting.

            (Takes a deep puff of the cigarette.)

As you can see, I am an addict of several things – one of them is these….

            (She waves the cigarette around)

I also have other addictions – but I have trouble remembering them all because I also have ADD – and its brother, ADHD, which together gets me a little bit of OCD, which is why I say I have COPD – because my OCD makes me smoke – over and over again.

(Thinks)  Hmm, does that make me an alphabet soup of problems?

Now why am I here?  You’ll have to excuse me, you see all the medicine for all my problems give me CRS  - which stands for….Can’t Remember Sh…..

            (Looks at someone in audience, nods)

Okay, okay…I’ll watch my Ps and Qs…..Hey, more letters!  I graduated with a BS and became an RN……

            (Laughs, starts to cough, almost chokes)

Ooh, if I keep doing that, I’ll be SOL! 

            (Tries to stop coughing by lighting a cigarette – not easy when one is coughing, as the light goes out often – finally taking a deep breath and getting some control.

BTW -  I have a BFF who says that I should stop smoking these things – but I don’t listen to her because she’s an A-S-S!

            (Listens)

Okay, okay, I get it!  Original introductions are frowned upon here at GA!

            (Takes another deep breath of cigarette smoke)

What was I saying?  So, I am an addict…..I am a gambler……

Betcha can’t tell if I haven’t gambled this week!

            (Laughs, stops quickly)

Sorry, I just want everyone to know that I did NOT gamble this week, unless you consider smoking to be gambling, which some people tell me it is, and I do not agree with.  This is still my body!  I’ve been through eighteen surgeries – from my back to my elbow to my toe to my neck, and everywhere in between!

And if I want to keep smoking these damn things I will do that!  Because it is the only damned pleasure I have!  I can’t gamble, and I can’t eat foods that have the letters A to Z in them, and I can barely pee anymore, and maybe I smoke because it’s the last thing I can do for myself without some damned machine being stuck into my body!

            (She stands up tall)

And if all of you don’t like sitting outside for these meetings so I can smoke, because my rich old daddy paid for this whole center, then go to some other damned meeting!

            (Takes a deep breath of smoke, blows it out)

There my friends, you have it, the truth, like you never hear it on the news!  Welcome to Gamblers Anonymous……which usually works for a lot of people……and now....lets have a great meeting!  

            (She takes the cigarette and stubs it out, coughing and choking as she leaves. The end…. just don’t bet on it)

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!

-------------------------------
Apr. 25, 2014 Day #72  Monologue Mania 

                                          My Favorite Present
                                                     by Janet S. Tiger
                                         © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

                  (A woman skips onstage - she can be of any age, but when she skips onstage, she is five years old, and she is very happy)

(Singing)  Happy birthday to me!  Happy birthday to me!  Happy Birthday dear meeeee, Happy birthday to me!

Oooh, I just love my birthday!   It is the best day of my whole life!  It is better than Christmas, because....(not as happy) I have to share Christmas with the baby Jesus......(back to happy)  .....and I suppose the presents are nice, but on my birthday it's all about ME!

            (She continues to skip around.)

Have you figured out yet, that today is (shouts)  My Birthday! 

             (Throws open her arms)

And I am going to be FIVE!

            (She counts on her fingers)

One, two, three, four….FIVE!

And I get to go to real school, and that is going to be SO much fun!

I can hardly wait for this afternoon!  We’re going to have a party, and I am going to get my favorite present of all time!  Can you guess?  It’s a bicycle!

            (Holds her arms around herself and whirls around)

Oooh!  I have wanted a real bicycle since I was a baby!

(More serious)  Not one of those …(says it with disgust)…TRI-CYCLES!

I am not a baby!  I want a real bicycle!  One with training wheels that get taken off!  One with blue stripes! 

            (Looks at the audience)

Oh, Aunt Hattie, I didn’t realize you were here!  Did you come for the party?

            (Listens)

What?

What do you mean, momma had a baby?  Last night?   (Suddenly realizes)   Is Momma ok?  (Listens, relieved)  Oh, good!   (A bit deflated)  I don’t understand.

 (Less happy) …. we already have a baby, my brother, Luke, doncha remember?

……..(Back to herself)  ….I don’t remember much about when Luke came, I was little then, I still had to ride a….Tri- cycle.

            (Listens)

(Disappointed)  So, Momma won’t be here today?  Oh, that’s too bad…….but what about the party?  (Listens, relieved)  Oh, thank you, Aunt Hattie!  My party is so important!

            (Listens, getting very upset)

What do you mean my birthday present is a new baby?  I don’t want a new baby!  All babies do is cry and I have to be quiet so I don’t wake him up, and Mommy and Daddy are too busy for me!  And anyhow, I was supposed to be getting a bicycle!    (Almost in tears)  I want a bicycle!

            (Looks at the audience, listens, relaxes)

Okay, I won’t worry…too much.  I mean, how many babies do we need?  That will make….
            (counts on her fingers)

One, two babies……(wails) .and I don’t even have one bicycle!

            (She now changes – if the actress wants, she can remove a sweater to reveal a party dress, but the easy way is to take out a birthday hat and strap it on, it’s party time….she is listening, others are singing to her, she mouths the words, very happy)

(Quiet)  Happy Birthday to……me!

            (Jumps up and down – blows out the candles)

Let’s open the presents!  I don’t care about the cake today!

            (She rips open the packaging, throwing things to the side.)

Very nice, very nice…….

            (Looks around, isn’t there anything else?)

(Disappointed)  Is that all?  I thought……that….well…..

            (Her head slumps, then picks up)

Where are you going, Aunt Hattie?

            (She starts jumping up and down)

Is that for me?  Oooh….it’s just what I wanted!

            (She holds the bicycle, down on her knees and wraps her arms around it)

It’s the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world!  I love it!  I’m gonna keep it forever!

            (She ‘rides’ it around the stage in ecstacy.  Looks to the audience)

Can I sleep with it?

            (Sad)

But I love it so much!

(Thinking)  Will Daddy be able to teach me how to ride today – without the training wheels?
      (Looks around.)

Where is Daddy?  I mean this is a special day!

            (Listens)
Mommy’s home!  Yeah!  Maybe she can teach me how to ride this bicycle!


            (Listens, disappointed)

Oh, she’s in bed…….can she teach me later. When she gets out of bed?

(Listens)  What?  Another present?....But I have everything I want…..

            (Looks into audience.)

Oh.  My new……(surprised)……sister?

            (Holds out her arms a little reluctantly)

Okay, but then I’m gonna go out and start riding my bicycle…..

            (She holds the new sister…..gingerly at first, then less so, then she is bored)

Can I go play now?

            (Listens, she just wants to go)

Yes, she seems nice…..

            (Turns to go, is called back)

(Sincere) Thank you, God,  for Mommy being all right….(less sincere) and for my new sister, and ….can I go now?

            (As she leaves, she is joyous, taking her bike)

This is the best birthday of my whole life!

            (She takes off the party hat, and puts on a mature jacket, she is now an adult)

And it was…….. because that bicycle lasted for years!

And now, I have a slightly better bicycle….and I am looking forward to using it, this weekend for the Pedals for the Cause, because we’ve been lucky, my dear sister, you and I and our children are healthy and strong - but others haven’t been so lucky, so off we ride! Thank you Senior Channel for letting us spread the word on such a good cause.  

            (She starts to leave, then turns back)

 (More serious)   I may have loved that bicycle.....and I sure love my new 10-speed!... But you…..(chokes up a bit)….you were and are .....the best present, and, on our birthday, I am sending you this Happy Birthday - Happy Birthday twin!

            (She exits, we hear her singing lightly - 'Happy Birthday to us....' The end - but we also need to see an end to cancer, so  please support Pedal the Cause San Diego)  

Thank you!

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8










                (

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 Apr. 24, 2014 Day #71 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2014
                 

                                        I Never Promised You a Chalk Garden
                                                  by Janet S. Tiger
                                       © 2014 all rights reserved

                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com




             (A young man walks onstage, he is dressed in a suit and tie, obviously nervous, trying to seem calm)

CHALKER -  (Quiet for a moment, he holds up a piece of chalk)  Firsts.  You know, I’ve never done this before, give a summation in front of a jury. It’s a little nerve-wracking, but here goes.  Firsts.  This whole event has been a series of firsts for me.  Never been arrested, never had a mug shot, a body-cavity search.  All new things.  But I guess that’s part of life, new things.  .  I never did graffiti before – never protested anything.  These are all firsts.  Some good, some not so pleasant – but I remember the first time a teacher taught us about the First Amendment.

Mrs. Hendricks, in 4^th grade, she made us memorize a lot of stuff.  The Gettysburg Address, the Preamble, the Bill of Rights.  What a waste of time, I thought then.  But not now.  She may be gone – and all the people who wrote those words may be gone, but those words are still strong- (quoting, he takes out a piece of paper)

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or…..(louder)  … abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

That is what I did.  I expressed myself with a piece of chalk – now I may not remember the first time I used a piece of chalk – I was a kid.  I wrote on the sidewalk, it was something I did, like walking, talking- you’d don’t remember your first word, your first step. 

But what I did in front of that bank – I remember.  And I did it because I was mad that no one else seemed to care!  My friends lost their house because these banks did things they should have gone to jail for – unfortunately, you can’t put a bank in jail.  But you can let people know!  (Gets very emphatic)  And that’s what I was doing!  I was letting the world know what was going on – and that’s what our forefathers wanted to protect when they wrote these words!  They knew that words have power, that’s why they protected us when we speak, and when we make signs, and use chalk!

(He now takes the paper and puts it on the floor, takes his chalk and draws a circle.)

And if you convict me, you will be drawing a chalk-line around the First Amendment.

(He turns to sit down.)

Thank you.

(The end of scene)

 

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!  
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down. 
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.  
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site!

-------------------------------
Apr. 22, 2014 Day #70 Monologue Mania
                           

(Strong language alert)

                                        Drownded is Drownded
                                                  by Janet S. Tiger

                                       © 2014 all rights reserved

                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A younger man enters, running.  He looks over his shoulder, crouches on the side of the   stage as if others may catch him.  He listens, the danger is past, he comes up slowly.  He       turns to the audience.)

(Thick hillbilly accent)  Sorry to bother you, I didn’t see you was a hidin out here.  Didn’t mean to almost blow you cover……

            (He looks around, peeks out)

I wonder where Toby went…..we was together just a minute ago, hope he got away, too…

            (Comes closer to the audience.)

Sleepin off a drunk, huh?  I done that here a few times, it’s pretty safe.  I didn’t know that anyone else knew about this place.

            (Wraps his hands around himself)

Boy, it is cold here.  I forgot how cold it gets.  I sure got into it this time, didn’t I?  They was a shootin at me like crazy!  Am I glad they don’t have good aim like all those police on the TV do!  I’d be shorely dead!

            (He laughs)

My Daddy used to warn me – he’d say my luck would run out one day.

I’d just laugh at him.  He don’t know nothing, never did.  Workin that same five acres of rocks for his whole life, prob’ly will in hell too!

            (He laughs again, less loudly)

(Thinking)  What did he say?  He had an expression…..

            (He looks over at the audience, almost sneering)

What the hell am I tellin you for, you’re drunk!

            (Walks around, holding rubbing his arms to keep warm)

He had a story he used to tell…..stupid story, supposed to give me some deep wisdom….why am I thinkin about it now?  Mebbe cause it’s so damn damp in here…(Perks up)  ..I remember!  (Says it carefully)  Drownded is drownded…..…he used to say it didn’t matter whether you drownded in the ocean or in a bowl of hot soup, you were dead either way, and the undertaker didn’t care, so long as you paid for the coffin.

            (He walks around, remembering a better time)

This was his favorite story, because ya see, he had lived with his relatives when his folks died of the flu, and he was not fond of (imitates a father’s voice) ‘those people’.   He told me his uncle would whip him, and his aunt would make him eat food he hated.  I guess that’s where he learned his parentin skills. 

            (He laughs, bitterly this time)

But Uncle Travis had been swept away in the river, when they was fishin during a storm, and..this was his favorite part of the story!…. his Aunt Mattie ….when she was eatin one day .. she just passed out!... and her face landed in a bowl of her horrible tomato soup….but since Uncle Travis was not around, she suffocated…… in two inches of fluid!……

Drownded is drownded…….that’s what he would say.  It don’t matter if it’s a shotgun or a BB gun, don’t get shot…..

(Laughs)  Died in a bowl of tomato soup!  My daddy would laugh every time, he said it was ‘divine intervention.’  I just call it damned bad luck, know what I mean?  Why did I start talkin about food?  I sure could go for a bowl of hot soup right now?  Know what I mean?

            (He goes to the audience, pokes at it)

You sure are quiet……

            (He goes over, pokes again.)

Since you so quiet, mebbe you don’t need that nice warm blanket you got…..

            (He goes over, pulls off a blanket, and starts to wrap it around himself)

That’s better……….sorry about that, but you don’t seem to be a caring about stayin warm as much as me…..

            (He goes over, kicks at the body with his foot.)

Hey, old man, are you ok?

            (Starts to get worried)

(Louder)  I said, hey old man, can you hear me?

            (He now examines the body)

Shit, I didn’t see that you was hurt…….that’s a lot of blood!.....You need a doctor!

            (He goes over and turns the body)

You look familiar……

            (Takes a deep breath)

No……no!

            (He goes over, more carefully now and really looks)

Can’t be!

            (He  starts to shake)

You look …just like the man in my mirror this morning, only older….but, I’m not that old, Toby and I are only kids….ok, maybe we ain’t kids no more……but…..

            (Drops the body, stands and starts to grab at his arms and legs)

I don feel no bullets, nothing…..I’m just cold, so cold…….I can’t be……

            (He goes to the edge of the stage, tries to get out, can’t)

(Screams)  NO!

            (He breathes deeply, now walks back to the audience, starts to laugh)

Drownded is drownded…… I guess Daddy was right about something after all….

            (He looks out at the audience, sits down, resigned)

So, you wanna hear another story…..I guess this one is about….how I musta died…..

            (Lights down.  The end)




Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8