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Monologue Mania Day #91 by Janet S. Tiger In Order of Appearance c) May 14, 2014
In Order of Appearance
(With apologies to Will Shakespeare)
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(This is a piece for actors. It must be performed smoothly, no seams, seamlessly, you get the idea. The actor - either gender - crawls out onstage, and looks around. Smiles, is a real baby, cries, smiles again, then slowly, stands up, speaks like a small child.)
Wow! What a life! How beautiful! What delicious smells! Well, maybe not all of them…..
(Looks around in awe)
What an amazing day! They call it …(tries to remember the word) ...a birt….day……
This is all mine! Why does it take forever to get a birt-day? Why can’t I have another one tomorrow? Wait a minute....
(Stands up straighter now. More arrogant, struts around the stage)
How do they get to tell me what to do? They don’t know anything! I can’t wait to be them, so I can rule the world! And do it right!
(Sees something go by, takes a deep breath0
So beautiful! I want that! Give that to me!
(Steps back as if slapped)
That was harsh! (Wisdom dawning dimly) Maybe…I can’t have everything I want….
(Looks as something whizzes by, speaks as an adult)
Whoa! Was that another birthday? Where did it go?
(Looks at it gone in amazement)
How did my kid get to be eight years old? It used to take a hundred years to get to a birthday and now, it’s like I can’t keep up……how old am I now?
(Turns around, shoulders are now hunched a bit, voice is no longer young.)
Why can’t I see anything without my glasses? And how can I find my glasses if I can’t see where my glasses are? And where did all these damned wrinkles come from? Who cares about to be or not to be! I want my youth back! Give me my twenty-five back! Or even forty-five….
(as saying this, the shoulders stoop further, the voice gets more frail)
….or sixty-five……..or….even seventy-five……What are you trying to get me to figure out that damned computer – I told you, to quote a king - I am too old to learn!
(a cane is now needed and the person peers into the audience)
…how old am I anyhow? Didn’t I just have a birthday? Wasn’t it yesterday? Seems like it…. …Is this the seventh stage? Or am I on my third leg now? Am I mixing up Oedipus and Shakespeare again? I guess when the age is in, the twit is out…
I think I missed a few - the soldier, the judge and jury…..
You be the judge…..where do we all fit into this gigantic reality show we call life?
(Hobbles offstage, slowly, turns back)
Are you coming to help me?
(Reaches out the hand without the cane)
Thank you….you’re a good child……did I ever tell you the story about a famous king with no eyes…….he answered a question from the Sphinx……(laughs) …no, the SPHINX… not the Stinks……
(Exits. The circle is complete)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8