Dedicated to my Dad’s friend at the Donut Shop, Veronica, one of the last ten people on earth who does not have a cell phone - thank you!
Small print - A few words about 'free' - I mean that these are free to read, free to perform and video AS LONG AS NO MONEY IS CHARGED. Once you want to charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me at [email protected] for royalty info. These monologues - and all my writing -are protected as follows - All rights reserved under the Berne and Pan-American copyright convention.
But I will be happy to give permission to do a video for youtube, as long as I receive credit - like Tori Langley did (Click here for THE TOWEL LADY THE TOWEL LADY.)
Day #10
iPhones for Peace by Janet S. Tiger
(c) all rights reserved Feb. 22, 2014
[email protected]
(A woman comes out onstage, she is older, but not ancient, very alive, and animated. Some might call her feisty. She holds up a cell phone, shakes it at the audience.)
I’ll bet you right now, that everyone here has one of these…right?
And I’ll bet you that some of you have more than one – so that means, that in this room, there’s more of them, than us!
Amazing – the machines have taken over already and we never knew the battle had begun!
But since so many people love these damn things, I think we should use them for good – and in the precious search for peace on earth, I am going to suggest a way to achieve almost instant peace……internationally.
Are you ready? It’s simple…….hold onto your hats….better yet, hold onto your phones!
The solution to peace on earth is…..an iPhone for everyone!
There – I told you it was simple! Let me explain…..
Half the world has them already, and for the other half, can you imagine if all the billionaires got together and made sure that every single man, woman and child had an iPhone……what the world would look like? A little scary? No! It would be ….fantastic!
Everyone would be too busy trying to figure out the crazy things and no one would have any time for war!
(She takes her arm and moves like she’s about to throw something.)
(Sounds like military man) Hey, I have to throw this grenade…..(stops, listens) but wait a minute….I have to get this…….(picks up the phone) Whatta you mean, I’m out of minutes?
(Back to herself) Already people don’t talk to each other – which is wonderful! No talk, no misunderstandings, no war!
And think about it – if everyone had the same phone, there would be no need for learning new languages, the phone can translate!
If people wanted to keep their other phones, that would be ok, too – the more phones, the better! More phones, less war!
(She goes into the audience, handing out papers, hears a question)
What about all the arms manufacturers? What will they do? I say, maybe it’s time for them to think about re-tooling …..how about plowshares? Or timeshares? Something less explosive!
(Contemplative) Years ago, there was a woman called the Peace Pilgrim, who walked all over this country for peace. She touched the lives of thousands of people, maybe even millions…..
(Back to feisty) That’s so old school! Today I want to reach BILLIONS of people, so I channeled her spirit and that’s why now…. I am advocating…say it with me!.......iPhones for peace.
And I hope you all join me – maybe someone (thinking this through) ….can design….. an ‘app’ for peace – that would be ….I was going to say wonderful, but I think the current word is….awesome!
So…..please join me in my quest for world peace – write to your congressman, your senators, your mother – she probably needs a phone! – and tell them how they can help. But most of all, write to Apple and Bill Gates, and Warren Buffett and all those other rich guys - anyone you can think of to spread this idea…thank you!
(She turns to go)
…wait a minute, did I say ‘write’……..
(She is now almost off the stage, she turns back, hits some buttons on the cell phone)
I meant….tweet!
Tweet for peace! I like that……I think I’ll add that to the next flier…..
(Looks back, raises a fist.)
Say it – iPhones for Peace, iPhones for Peace…….
(She exits. The beginning of the end ….of war!)
Small print - A few words about 'free' - I mean that these are free to read, free to perform and video AS LONG AS NO MONEY IS CHARGED. Once you want to charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me at [email protected] for royalty info. These monologues - and all my writing -are protected as follows - All rights reserved under the Berne and Pan-American copyright convention.
But I will be happy to give permission to do a video for youtube, as long as I receive credit - like Tori Langley did (Click here for THE TOWEL LADY THE TOWEL LADY.)
Day #10
iPhones for Peace by Janet S. Tiger
(c) all rights reserved Feb. 22, 2014
[email protected]
(A woman comes out onstage, she is older, but not ancient, very alive, and animated. Some might call her feisty. She holds up a cell phone, shakes it at the audience.)
I’ll bet you right now, that everyone here has one of these…right?
And I’ll bet you that some of you have more than one – so that means, that in this room, there’s more of them, than us!
Amazing – the machines have taken over already and we never knew the battle had begun!
But since so many people love these damn things, I think we should use them for good – and in the precious search for peace on earth, I am going to suggest a way to achieve almost instant peace……internationally.
Are you ready? It’s simple…….hold onto your hats….better yet, hold onto your phones!
The solution to peace on earth is…..an iPhone for everyone!
There – I told you it was simple! Let me explain…..
Half the world has them already, and for the other half, can you imagine if all the billionaires got together and made sure that every single man, woman and child had an iPhone……what the world would look like? A little scary? No! It would be ….fantastic!
Everyone would be too busy trying to figure out the crazy things and no one would have any time for war!
(She takes her arm and moves like she’s about to throw something.)
(Sounds like military man) Hey, I have to throw this grenade…..(stops, listens) but wait a minute….I have to get this…….(picks up the phone) Whatta you mean, I’m out of minutes?
(Back to herself) Already people don’t talk to each other – which is wonderful! No talk, no misunderstandings, no war!
And think about it – if everyone had the same phone, there would be no need for learning new languages, the phone can translate!
If people wanted to keep their other phones, that would be ok, too – the more phones, the better! More phones, less war!
(She goes into the audience, handing out papers, hears a question)
What about all the arms manufacturers? What will they do? I say, maybe it’s time for them to think about re-tooling …..how about plowshares? Or timeshares? Something less explosive!
(Contemplative) Years ago, there was a woman called the Peace Pilgrim, who walked all over this country for peace. She touched the lives of thousands of people, maybe even millions…..
(Back to feisty) That’s so old school! Today I want to reach BILLIONS of people, so I channeled her spirit and that’s why now…. I am advocating…say it with me!.......iPhones for peace.
And I hope you all join me – maybe someone (thinking this through) ….can design….. an ‘app’ for peace – that would be ….I was going to say wonderful, but I think the current word is….awesome!
So…..please join me in my quest for world peace – write to your congressman, your senators, your mother – she probably needs a phone! – and tell them how they can help. But most of all, write to Apple and Bill Gates, and Warren Buffett and all those other rich guys - anyone you can think of to spread this idea…thank you!
(She turns to go)
…wait a minute, did I say ‘write’……..
(She is now almost off the stage, she turns back, hits some buttons on the cell phone)
I meant….tweet!
Tweet for peace! I like that……I think I’ll add that to the next flier…..
(Looks back, raises a fist.)
Say it – iPhones for Peace, iPhones for Peace…….
(She exits. The beginning of the end ….of war!)
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