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May 23, 2014 Day #100 by Janet S. Tiger Mixed Emotions Monologue Mania
Mixed Emotions by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 22, 2014 all rights reserved firstname.lastname@example.org
(A bartender comes out onstage – towel over shoulder, glasses in hand, maybe a mug under an arm. A table will be helpful, but not essential if the actor can juggle the glasses.)
Welcome to our new exciting bar and grill….Mixed Emotions. What’ll you be having tonight?
Of course you’re not sure! That’s why you’re here…..you have mixed emotions! Your crummy, no good-cheating boyfriend left you for your ex-best friend? They’ve been carrying on for the last two years and you just didn’t want to see it, so you are in tears it’s over .......and ecstatic to be rid of them both - your mixed emotions must be.... happy and sad!
We’ve got just the drink for you! Sad and happy.....makes....Sappy!
(Mixes a drink and hands it over.)
Try this…..there, isn’t that better?
We serve everyone here – because Mixed Emotions knows what you are going through! Lost your job, kids driving you nuts? No train wreck comes alone, they all have baggage……..ex-husbands and ex-wives, ex-lovers, ex-friends….a little extra booze always helps! And if food is your escape preference, we've got that, too, including desserts that will make you weep with happiness!
Me? I’ve been through it all – crazy parents, annoying teachers, unfair bosses, break-ups, make-ups, children who never seem to grow up! Ups and downs - and right now, I have to move. It’s hard, because I’ve lived in the same neighborhood for fifteen years, I know everyone, and I hate change! But they’re tearing down our building, so I have no choice really……I have to go.
And I hate packing – but the other side of it is getting rid of a lot of old junk. And getting a brand new place, and meeting new people. And the next apartment has a pool, so that’s good, but I have less room, so that’s irritating….mixed emotions.
(Suddenly takes a drink from one of the glasses)
And, I suppose, the fact that, because of all this confusion with the construction ……..
(Takes another drink)
I mean, he was an old dog…no new tricks. I got him from the pound the first week I moved in…..I needed a companion after a tough breakup, so I had…. Corky…He was easy to name because his head was a funny mix, so it looked like a cork from a bottle, perfect for someone in my line of work……… Fifteen years. He was a great dog, never complained….always happy, fun to take walks with, play in the park, always listened……
(Big gulp now)
.....and well, he got out one day when I was loading stuff into my truck….and..... he was…hit by a car…..maybe if he’d been younger….but he wasn’t, so.....
(Polishes off the drink, head tipped back)
(Much sadder) ......I had to put him down…..
(Uses the bar towel to wipe eyes)
(Sighs) And I don’t suppose there’s any mixed any mixed emotion to that, is there? What’s mixed about grief?
(Thinks for a minute, smiles)
Although, the vet was really cute……so, maybe there’s a bit of wonder mixed in there…..like who knows where this will go? I mean, I have to get a new dog……and that means lots of trips to the vet, right?
Mixed emotions……you come in with ‘em, you leave…..with them. Unlike spouses, and bosses and children and parents and pets, you just can’t escape what you feel….even if you try with these….
(Lifts a glass)
So, there’s always room for you at the bar, here at Mixed Emotions………..where you come in feelin’ crappy, and you go home feelin’ happy!
(Turns to the next patron)
Well, hello there! Welcome to Mixed Emotions…..what’ll you have tonight?
(Takes the glasses, towel and heads to the other end of the bar. We hear greeting of a new patron as the lights dim to blackout. )
The end – of the first 100 monologues! Only 265 to go – and on June 6th, there will be a meeting at Scripteasers, the longest running new-play reading group in the country (maybe the world!) of selected monologues from this first 100. For more info Scripteasers.org, and to read one of these monologues that night, please contact – email@example.com
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8