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Monologue Mania Day #124 by Janet S. Tiger A Modern Day Tale of Woe (c) June 16, 2014
A Modern Day Tale of Woe
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) June 16, 2014 all rights reserved
(A woman comes onstage with an ipad. She is staring, deep in thought, suddenly notices the people)
Sorry, just had to finish something.
(She reluctantly puts down the ipad)
I know I'm a bit late, but you have to understand, I was involved in something very important....really!
Oh, all right, maybe not that important......oh, why should I bother to hide it! You probably already know.
(Takes a deep breath)
It's official, I am a Words With Friends slut. At first I only played with friends, people I knew. OK, some people I only knew via other people, but there was a tenuous connection. OK, the connection on Facebook is like a spider thread, but hey, spider thread is very strong for its size! I played them, but it just wasn't enough. I had to have more.
Yes, it's true, I'm admitting it out loud - I am an addict. I am an addict of Words With Friends.
I started trolling for new 'friends' - people who knew people who knew people I knew. There were a few billion left. And then, I found...random.
Had never noticed it before, but I read an article about the origin of Words With Friends, and clicked on the Start Game button (like many times before) I scrolled down past the hordes of supposed friends - most of whom would never accept my invitation -the rest did play, but never enough! never enough!- and there it was - RANDOM OPPONENT!
I imagine this is what it is like discovering that your local drug dealer has a hole in his pocket, and valuable drugs are dripping out - FREE - for all willing to trail him licking the sidewalk where he walked for the chance to get FREE cocaine or meth or whatever is falling out.
I clicked on RANDOM OPPONENT with a quivering hand - more people to play with! People who would be available at all hours, when I couldn't sleep -why do you think I play so much?
It was a rush! Suddenly I was playing five new games! The words were flying into my brain -so what if most of them received the dreaded 'this word may be misspelled' black box! I was in ecstasy! A dream come true! And I could even beat some of them! All right, only one of them, but it felt so good until xyghbytr 243 quit. The others were beating me - by a lot - and then they started to quit, too. What was happening? Didn't they want to play anymore? Wasn't I good enough? Smart enough? Is isn't possible that they could smell the fact that I hadn't showered in a day or two - online doesn't have smell-o-vision -yet-.....
As fast as they were there, playing, they were....gone. The request to play with me went out into the silent night - 'Searching for Random Opponent'. Had the word spread that I was....to put it politely...insane?
I'd like to think not. I would prefer to think of it as ...cyber error. Try saying that one fast, Sue by the Seashore
And until the mistake is fixed, I am asking for help. If you can hear this, read it, sense it.....I want to play Words With Friends with you. I don't want to talk with you - or -God forbid!- meet you. I don't even want to know your real name....
I just want to play!
Won't somebody please play with me?
(She gets down on her knees and clasps her hands together)
So, please, I send out this plea.....help an addict! Play with me...please?..........
(She looks around, realizing what she must look like, gets up, dusting off her clothes)
Unless, of course you don't like this game.....
(She turns to leave, looks back)
But you might want to try it, just once, it won't hurt to just try.....
(She exits through the crowd, begging people to play. Unfortunately,. there is no end to this sad tale....Words With Friends continues forever.)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8