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Monologue Mania Day #132 by Janet S. Tiger Storage Boy (c) June 24, 2014
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) June 24, 2014 all rights reserved
(A nice-looking smiling man comes onstage with a rolling cart - anything that can be used to drag items from one place to another. He is pleasant, wearing clean clothes and a perky hat.)
Oh, no, ma'am, I'm happy to help. I like being a storage boy at Sunshine Storage. That's what we're here for, helping you move in to Sunshine Storage, where we are happy to make you happy to keep your stuff safe...at Sunshine Storage.
(He goes back for more, brings another pile, stacks it up)
Would you like it here? I think you were wise to get the bigger unit, more space for your stuff! And if you run out of space, we have lots more.....just let me know,,,,the first month is always free, and we always help you move......in.
Yes, it is tough to move to a smaller place. Always lots to store. We help lots of people just like yourself. No one wants to give away memories. Especially happy ones, right? Like in this box...
(He reads off one of the boxes)
Photos from 1989 to 1991. Those have to be special. And putting them onto the computer takes so much time, and they never look the same....and you can't touch them....
(He touches the box)
And since we're open 24 hours a day, you can come here and touch anything you want, any time you want.......we just want you to be happy.
I like to think about this as a happy place, not like in the old days, when there was no storage like this, and people would have to get rid of beloved items, items that had deep sentimental value, gifts that were special…and how they must have cried over these lost items! How they must have mourned the loss of family heirlooms and tiny handmade children’s gifts! The pain! The sorrow! And here, we have none of that, because, at Sunshine Storage, your stuff can be here…forever!
(He goes back and gets the last load, packs it in tightly)
I think that's all....no more in this load. But it's getting a bit tight in here, maybe if you have a lot more, another unit would be a good idea....and there's a special if you get more than one unit....half off the next month's rent on this one! What a deal! It's like getting this unit for almost nothing for two whole months!
I'm sorry, but if you move out, you have to do that yourself, or hire someone. No, I'm not allowed to help people move out, just in.
Actually, I've been here three years, and I have never seen anyone move out....
(He takes the cart - then leans over conspiratorially)
I hear no one ever has!
(He starts to walk off.)
At least not, while they're alive......
(Laughs as he exits from the Sunshine Storage, where stuff checks in, but it never checks out)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8