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Monologue Mania Day #182 by Janet S. Tiger It Comes in Threes... Aug.13, 2014
It Comes in Threes.... A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved firstname.lastname@example.org
(Actor comes in with newspaper, looking horrified.)
(Reading) 'People have lined up at the Hollywood star .....blah, blah, blah.....and there is a rumor the President will attend the funeral....blah, blah, blah........'
(Crumples the paper, throws it away)
I don't care that it was the greatest actor of our generation! I don't care that he was so generous! All I care about is that.......that......he's the second one! In two days!
First was the old one, that was bad, but this! This was a car accident! A young person!
It always comes in threes!
(Runs around room, looks under bed, in closets)
....where can I hide?
They always come in threes.......
One is usually an oldie but a goodie.....one of the deaths they bet on on those Internet sites! And then one is a horrible accident.......and the third....the third is like the bonus cupcake for the press!
What if it's......ME!
(Pulls up sleeve, feels for pulse)
Have I had all my shots? Can I catch ebola if I've never been to Africa? What about a break-in?
(Goes to windows, shutting them, locking)
(Trying to calm self, breathing rapidly) Deep breaths, that's what the therapist says....deep breaths......or is it that I need a paper bag?
(Searches for a paper bag, then stops)
What if I give myself a heart attack and they have to knock down the doors to find me....because I never showed up on the set tomorrow?
(Returns to the windows and re-opens them, then goes to a bookcase, takes out a book)
Maybe I'll just read a little.......
(Flips through the pages)
This looks good......'And death walked amongst them, looking for the next victim, and sometimes people could feel his hand on their shoulder, as he checked to see if this was the right one....those near death could almost see him, and everyone knew that one of them was next, but they were happy when it wasn't them.....'
(Looks at the book)
Who wrote this shit?
(Takes the book and throws it out the window)
Maybe I should just look at the stars.......
(Looks out the window, nodding)
(Hears something, leans out the window)
What? What did you say? Dead? They're dead! oh, my God! (Horrified) And they were so young!
(Dances around the room)
Oh, that's wonderful! I mean, not for them, but it means....I'm not one of the three!
It's safe to leave because.........I'm still alive!
(Turns to go,dancing out of the room, looks back)
Who's gonna play that part now? Maybe I have a chance?
(Runs out. Not the end for this person...yet.)
------------------------------ Note - for those not familiar with this expression 'it comes in threes' the reference is to how it often seems like famous people die in threes - this is really an urban myth, but the press builds it up. Robin Williams died this week, then Lauren Bacall...They were great talents - may they rest in peace. T
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8