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--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monologue Mania Day # 231 by Janet S. Tiger Oct. 1, 2014
Parental alert - very weird ideas!
A New Show (for the Senior Channel)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved email@example.com
(A woman comes onstage, carrying a banner inspired by Day #230. She waves it proudly)
Hello, hello, hello! I am a proud member of the new group suggested by the gentleman with the wonderful banner!
(She waves it wildly, the toilet paper fluttering in the breeze)
It is inspirational how people can think of such new and incredibly amazing things! That's why I was inspired!
And so, I have created a new show, which I am proud to announce right here, on the Senior Channel! A show that will have everyone talking - a show inspired by a great tradition in television....the lowest point means you can't fall down!
You see, first there was The View, where today's topic was getting a vacuum cleaner to provide an orgasm....then there was THE CHEW, where women discussed Vagina Cookies....and now.......drum roll please, I mean, toilet roll!.......THE POO!
That's right, you heard me! A show all about the unmentionable......and our motto is.....'the more you know, the more you go!'
Why be shy about anything anymore? Life is full of crap, why not celebrate the real stuff! The stuff that dreams aren't made of......come visit us on THE POO and meet our hostess...Whoopee Cushion, with her first guest, that famous actress who has exposed her intestinal issues for years as the spokesperson for Go-Go-Gogurt.....Jaimie Loo Curtis!
Our slogan is always....Just Do-Do It!
And our first show will feature a special that will be on every week, one that everyone can enjoy...our version of the real, the true.....the actual....Game of Thrones!
For those interested in other facets of this, we've got fashion Hair Do-Dos and another very special guest, the Poo-purri lady, Bethanny Woodroughage!
We will be exploring poo throughout the ages - from...ancient poo from the King Toot era through the modern time's Remains of the Day!
Thought television couldn't possibly get any worse? Think again! Now you can tune in to a tasteless show where we have all the top stories about....bottoms!
So please join us as we put a magnifying glass into the potty.....and what we find will have you just tooting for air!
Flush away all your old ideas! This is the rear end of the line!
No matter what you do, please remember to watch THE POO!
(She turns to exit, stops, looks back)
(She exits to the limbo music - 'How Low Can You Go')
- Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com Member Dramatists Guild since 1983 Playwright-in-Residence Swedenborg Hall 2006-8