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March 10, 2014 Monologue Mania Day #26
Re- BUTT-al to Day #22
by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved 2014
(An older man comes out – this is the same fellow from Day #20 Planned Obsolescence, and if possible, he is even more annoyed now.)
Hello, again Senior Channel, and thank you, once again, for allowing me to return to ...(says it with relish) re- BUTT the gentleman from last week! By the way, that’s BUTT with a capital B..U..T..T!
Where the hell do I start?
(Hears something from the side, waves his hand)
And please stop reminding me about my language! I may not be very technologically advanced, but I know enough that I knew 40 years ago that you have some damn button for time delay and you can blip out anything you don't like me saying!
Where was I?
Oh, a response to the idea that by me saying HE is complaining .....that I am complaining!
Let’s set the record straight ….here's the definition of complaint....
(He takes out a page from his pocket)
And I may add that putting paper in your pocket - is better than a can of beans!
Here it is - 'Complaint - noun origin -from the 1350-1400s - middle English and French - a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory or unacceptable' an expression of discontent
Well - I am not discontent with anything he said! I made what is known as.....
(Turns the paper over)
……(reads) …..an observation!
‘Observation - noun - also 1350-1400…. from the Latin….. observare....
an act or instance of noticing or perceiving!’ So you see, for those of you literate enough to understand what I just said…..I did not complain - I merely noticed HE was complaining!
And if he wants to have his precious old can opener that works better than anything else - have him get into his damn time machine and travel back to 1938 and get one!
(He turns to leave, looks back)
.....and - one last thing - as long as my older brother keeps coming on this show with his dumbass views, I shall return!
(He folds the paper and marches off.)
Maybe not the end….