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Mar.18, 2014 Day #34 Monologue Mania
Around the Block
by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved
(A woman comes out onstage - she will start in her thirties, young, springy step. She will be walking ...around the block...throughout the entire piece. She waves at someone)
Hello...how are you...beautiful weather!....Have a great day.......
(She walks, then stops, looks up in awe)
Oh, my goodness! How beautiful you are today! I guess you're in bloom because it's the first day of spring! It's going to be a great year, I can feel it....yes, you guessed it...I'm pregnant! By this time next year, I'll be walking with my baby! But until then, I will walk and say hello to you every day, my dear leafy friend.
(She walks on, and will now walk with an umbrella, it's raining and blowing...and she is fighting the gusts, with difficulty......waves at someone.)
What a day! ......Hope it stops by the weekend for your party....... Stay dry.....
(She comes to the tree, and instead of looking up, is huddled underneath now.)
Wow, am I glad you're here! Is it a storm or what?...........Hard to believe I'm walking without the kids again...they're both back in school.......but I guess you know that, Mr. Tree.....spring break was so short....and so misnamed......what a year!......ooh, it stopped raining so heavily, I'm gonna run now, see you tomorrow!...
(She closes the umbrella and hurries off.....returning without a coat......walking slowly)
Hi, Mrs. Bowden.......okay, we'll get through it....thank you for bringing over the casserole......we'll be fine.......
(She gets to the tree, sits below it heavily)
Boy, it's hot today.
(She picks up a leaf, looks at it closely)
I guess you must be hot, too......
(Looks up at the tree)
Did they give you a haircut in this weather? Not very good idea….they should just be deep watering……
(She sighs deeply and shakes her head)
Guess you know what happened......even though we knew Peter's Dad wasn't doing well, it's never easy, is it? It makes you realize how short this trip is, like each walk around the block......you never know what you're gonna find....a new neighbor, that someone is moving....someone.....(hard to say)...passed away. The street changes.......
(Looks up at the tree)
You must've been upset when they took out all your friends, right? I was! Those were such beautiful trees! And they made this street so shady, and, well, I guess I'm sorry for your loss, too. But I’m glad you’re still here…like me….we’ll get through it…..
(She stands up)
Gotta go, house full of people - thanks for listening. I appreciate it.
(She walks off, returning in a moment, but more quickly this time.)
(Speaking faster to the neighbors) Hi, how's it goin? Yeah, it's busy with the graduations and Robin leaves for Atlanta first thing tomorrow! See you later at the party....sure the dogs are welcome!
(She gets to the tree, stops to catch her breath)
Why do people think their dogs are welcome at parties? Can you tell me that, Mr. Tree? (Thinks, looks up) I imagine you are not fond of dogs at all, are you? Boy, this walking fast is not for me! I will just have to find another exercise! Maybe swimming......I guess I like to walk around this block....slowly...it's my time, to be by myself.....and maybe talk to a neighbor.......talk to you.... (laughs)
Whew, I know they put people away when they talk to themselves, but what about you? Will they put me away for talking to a tree?
Well, gotta go! A lot to do before the party! See you tomorrow!
(She walks away, waves at a neighbor in the distance0
Hi, Mr. Rodriquez! Yeah, I was just talking....to you.....how's it going? ...Oh, sorry you can't make it......
(She walks off, returning next with a cane, walking more slowly, she is talking on a cell phone.)
Yes, Dee, it's hard to believe...after all these years, moving......I don't know ......the kids are helping.....it's.....not easy........
(As she walks, she waves at neighbors. Now a bit past the tree, she waves the cane back at it.)
Hold on, Dee....I have to get off, need to talk with....an old friend.....
(She puts the phone in her pocket, stares up at the tree.)
Sorry to be so rude these last few months, Mr. Tree. Those cell phones are so easy to get hooked on! I’ve missed our little talks, but I guess we’ve seen each other, not for much longer though…you may have overheard….we’ll be leaving this street soon…..I’m going to say I’ll be back to visit, but you know how that goes…….
(As if listening)
What did you say? ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.’ I almost thought I could hear you! (Laughs) Whooey! I must be tired! Moving when you’re young is one thing, but when you put a few miles on, it’s different…..
I guess you don’t do a lot of traveling, Mr. Tree….(considers)….you know, maybe you’re not a ‘Mr’, maybe…. you’re a Mrs…. Or a Ms……or maybe you’re even a…. transgender tree!……(she laughs to herself over this) Can trees be transgender? Will have to look that up on the computer! Boy, have things changed since I started walking around you!
(She starts to walk away, waves at a neighbor in the distance, then turns back to the tree.)
I just wanted you to know how much I’ve enjoyed our little talks over the years…..boy, this is gonna be strange…
(She goes over to the tree and hugs it.)
I love you!
(She pulls away, starts to laugh, shakes her head..she comes back around, slowly, nodding her head at neighbors, perfunctory rather than her earlier pep, talking on her cell)
Hello…nice day…..how are you…..yeah, Dee, I’m better today…..but how are you doing, how’s that hand? What did the doctor say? If you can’t drive me, it’s okay, I’ll get one of the neighbors…….I know you wanted to be here on the last day……
(But now she gets to where her tree should be and she stops, her eyes widen, she takes a deep breath)
My God….what happened?
(She screams into the phone)
Gotta go, Dee – there’s been a murder!
(She closes the phone and looks around, the tree is gone!)
(Crying) That must have been that awful noise yesterday! I was sick and couldn’t get out of bed and all I could hear all day was ….a terrible machine……that was ….cutting you down!
(She hangs her head, still upset)
And it must have been you crying! As they chopped you up!
Down to your roots! There is nothing left! I can’t believe it!
How long have I been walking around this block? Is it…….25 years? And you are gone in ….one day?
(She stands still looking around)
It is so ugly here now! And I am so glad I am leaving!
(She stops, listens to what she just said)
That’s the first time I said that…..I was looking for a sign that it was time to leave, and this is it. This is the sign.
(She hears her cell ring, puts it to her ear)
Sorry about that, Dee…..no, I’m fine…no, it was not a REAL murder, well in a way…it was …..just an old tree they tore down….(very affected still) ….a beautiful old tree……an old …friend…..sorry you got worried…..I’ll be done with my walk in a few minutes, and I’ll be…(hard to say)…. ready to go…..see you soon…..
(She closes the phone, puts it in her pocket, starts to walk away. She turns to look back.)
No offense, Mr. Tree, and I’m sorry it was you, but I’m very glad it wasn’t me!
(She squares her shoulders and exits.)
Janet S. Tiger
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8