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This is my anniversary - 28 years ago today I married Stan - and this story is ripped from the headlines of my life! (I have another Anniversary monologue that is from someone else's life - will post that tomorrow)
Mar. 28, 2014 Monologue Mania Day # 44
Parental alert - one curse
Anniversary Story (c)
By Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(An older woman comes onstage, she is slightly drunk, and has on a silly party hat, carries a champagne glass.)
(Trying not to slur) Okay, my turn for a toast.
(She raises her glass)
Here’s to another 50 years!
(She drains the glass.)
Now, this anniversary is one I am certainly enjoying, but I am sure I will have little memory of it in the morning…..I blame the champagne! But I have an anniversary that I want to remember for all you here – one most of you never knew we had….well, you knew we had anniversaries, but you didn’t know what happened…..thank goodness!
You see, one year -when the kids were younger, we had made plans for a babysitter to come on our anniversary, which turned out to be a Friday night, so no work the next day and we could go out for dinner and a movie, a very rare event for us. We’d saved to be able to eat at a reasonable restaurant and take inan early bird movie. And enough for a babysitter.
Her name was Stephanie and she had been a family friend, until she hit college, when she had turned…..how to put this politely…..batshit flaky.
But we couldn’t use our regular sitter, so we called her, and Stephanie was fine..... the day before. So she is supposed to come by 3:30 pm, giving us enough time for a leisurely dinner and movie.
So, we get dressed up, which for me means a new pair of pantyhose.
Three-thirty, no Stephanie. The kids reminded us she was often late. So we wait. So four o’clock comes and goes – by four thirty, we call, and there’s no answer. At first, we got a bit worried, as she used to be….reliable.
Five o’clock comes and goes – has she been in an accident? We are getting nervous, and call her parents. They find her at a friend’s house….where she has already started drinking for the weekend. So... no getting to us! She was (now she slurs it) .... vvvvvvery sorrrrry! But that didn’t help us!
We were thinking.... maybe we’d take the kids with us, when they came in, all three of them, the oldest was ….how old was he?
(She squints, remembering with some tears)
He was only nine – and they had a homemade card they handed to us.
Inside was the contents of all their piggy banks – a few dollars and lots of coins.
(Like a young kid) ‘Dear Mom and Dad, we know you were hoping to go out, so maybe this will help-‘
And the card read….’we can take care of ourselves, you have a good time, love……’
We were a little afraid to leave them – with Kyle only nine, although he was almost ten. But we decided that if we just went out to eat -we had missed the early bird movie anyhow! – we could do it.
So we went – to a new restaurant we had never eaten at before. And we called the house every hour – and we were only gone two hours!
But they were fine- and the house was still standing! - and we had a wonderful dinner……it was delicious, and we still eat there! But the best thing was, we learned we could leave them alone together – safely! – for a few hours.
It was a wonderful anniversary – one of the best. Because it did not look like it was going to be a good one.
Maybe..... bad times make the good times better……all I know is that ....out of 28 anniversaries......that is the anniversary I remember above them all.
(She lifts her glass as she turns to walk out)
So…everyone….drink up! I need a refill…..
(Stops, turns back)
Now THEY have to worry about leaving us home alone!
(She giggles as she exits.)
Janet S. Tiger
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8