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Apr. 9, 2014 Day #56 by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2014
The Very Best Revenge Song (c)
(For the Senior Channel)
by Janet S. Tiger
© all rights reserved 2014
[email protected]
(A country singer comes onstage. She is very country, and very mad)
What do you mean, you can’t figure out what to write for me? I done told you a hundred times – I want mad, because I am mad! I’ve been cheated on, stomped on, even spit on by men, so I want – and how difficult is this to understand?- I want to get even- I want REVENGE! I am the ultimate – what did they call it on that TV show - of the Get Even Girls!
(Listens)
What was that word you used? Bellicose? I know what it means – it’s a Southern word, meaning I want REVENGE!
Of course I want revenge – in a song there are no consequences… (thinks)– how I wish that were true in real life…..
And I don’t care how I get it! I can use a shotgun or a 45, I can use a chainsaw or the keys… on his car, I can use a bomb or I can burn him out – ooh, I like that, haven’t heard a good burn-out song yet, have we?
My heart was a –burnin’ when I got the yearnin’ to see how you was doing…and I saw you….doin’ my best friend!
(She starts to move to the words)
Ooh, ooh, where will it end?
Prob’ly in hell, cause these things never end well….
And I see red, I see fire…..I’m gonna get him, the big fat liar!
Fire!
Burning down my heart!
Fire!
Gonna end what you start!
Fire!
Ooh….
(She dances wildly to the music in her head)
That’s what I want! Fire! And I can do it all……(thinking)…I can shoot him, too....
(She runs around illustand run him over with a car, like Carrie did, and I can poison and stab, you name it, when I am done with that bastard, there will not be another song left to write! Except maybe with an atomic bomb! Ooh…I like that….can we get one of those for the video? Not a real one, you idiot! Just a baby bomb…..nuclear ……better stay clear cause my hate for you is damned nuclear…okay, we’ll work on that rhyme….
(Stops for a moment, reflective)
How dare he think he can stand me up? Like a two-bit piece of trash he met at the local bar? He will never forget it, because this song is gonna be all about him….Hit it boys, and when I say ‘hit it’…I mean hit it!
(She raises her arms and walks off. End of monologue, beginning of a Grammy-winning country song.)
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