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monologue mania day #59 by janet s. tiger  satellite selfie (c) 2014 all rights reserved

4/12/2014

1 Comment

 
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Apr. 12, 2014  Day #59  Monologue Mania

                        Satellite Selfie (c)
                                         by Janet S. Tiger  
                                  (c) all rights reserved 2014
                                       [email protected]

            (A woman comes onstage, frantically dialing a cell phone.)

Marge?  Are you there?  Please pick up the phone!  My God this is important!

            (Listens) 

Marge!  I know you're there..(horrified)..... I can ...I can see you on Google!  That's what this is about!  And I know you have the cell phone.....near you....so please pick up! 

(Relieved)  Marge!  I am so glad I got you!  Yes, it's important!  I was just on my computer, and I was on Google, and I happened to look at your house…(listens)….yes, sometimes I do go onto Google and look at our neighborhood………but pay attention, this is important!   There is a camera on your house right now, LIVE!  (Listens)  That’s right, a camera! From Google!  From outer space! …….And I know that you are in your back yard, doing yard work....and yes, I know that you have no clothing on!  In fact, the whole world knows you have no clothing on!  You are.....(shocked).... completely naked!

I am horrified!  I mean, I always knew you were weird, but this is too much.....stop laughing, Marge!  It's not funny!

            (Listens)

And yes, I know it's a very hot day and you hate clothes and that's why you put up eight-foot high fences with barbed wire on top and tall trees, but that is not the issue! 

I mean, I don't care what you do in the privacy of your home, but with these Google satellites, you are fair game once you step outside!  I always knew going to the moon was a bad idea, but this just proves it!

Would you please stop laughing!  You probably jiggle like the dickens when you laugh!

No, I am not watching you right now - I thought that would be an invasion of your privacy......stop giggling! ….And no, I am not going to save this so you can have a …what did you call it…a ‘satellite selfie’!

I wish you would see the seriousness of this!

            (Completely frazzled)

I don't care if your hydrangeas needed pruning!  I don't care if all your bushes need pruning!   (Realizes what she said, sputters)  I mean, that came out wrong.....just go inside and put something on, for God's sakes!

            (Listens)

What?  (resigned, and just a little jealous)   Well, yes, dear.....you do look great from outer space......

            (She shakes her head, hangs up)



Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 Comment
Diane
4/13/2014 12:01:50 am

A collision with invasion of our privacy - and a woman who doesn't care, as long as they get her from the right angle - outer space. Google sees all - scary and funny.

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    Janet S. Tiger’s award-winning plays and monologues have been produced internationally and are currently in popular anthologies in the United States and Canada.

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