Six new monologues - almost my first week! And a few actors have told me they are working on videos - so, once they are done, am hoping to have a youtube channel for monologues started here. Maybe a contest for best video? (Any sponsors out there interested?) Or favorite monologue.....we'll see how the year goes.
Also, once I pass the 10 day mark, will start to list all the monologues on a website page, with headings for male/female, comedy, etc. so people can find what you like a bit more easily. Again, I want to thank all actors - you are amazing - you bring my words (and every other playwright's!) to life, and it is much appreciated. So, here is Day #6 - although written for a male, it really is a gender neutral piece. Have fun!
Small print - A few words about 'free' - I mean that these are free to read, free to perform and video AS LONG AS NO MONEY IS CHARGED. Once you want to charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me at email@example.com for royalty info. These monologues - and all my writing -are protected as follows - All rights reserved under the Berne and Pan-American copyright convention.
But I will be happy to give permission to do a video for youtube, as long as I receive credit - like Tori Langley did (Click here for THE TOWEL LADY.)
The Death Report by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 18, 2014 all rights reserved Day #6
(A man comes out onstage - he is dressed in a suit and tie - he looks like a news reporter, because he is! - with the standard smile and perky attitude.)
Hello, my faithful fans on the nightly 11pm KRP Death Report!
Tonight is a great night for death because it's been a great day for death! What's our motto? What are you when you're dead? (Joyful) Dead! Dead! Dead!
As always, we are your 24 hour death station - we have all the most important deaths from all over the world -
(he indicates a 'screen' behind him)
And all over this country
(indicates the screen again)
and great state....
and best of all.....every single death in this city! That's right - all the people who have died here in your own very town - maybe, if you're lucky, you will know someone in your own neighborhood or street!
Now, due to time restrictions we can only show the famous deaths right now- but we have every single one of the ordinary deaths on our online site - just click the Dead today button for all those details.... but for what everyone is tuning in for - murders....that's what we have tonight!
And today was a great day! Must be the full moon, my friends....(confidential) and for those who are accusing our channel of encouraging murders around the full moon each month, that lawsuit is still pending so we cannot comment!
But tonight is big....(he builds on this) we have shootings, stabbings, drowning, bludgeoning, electrocution, decapitation, tampering with the brakes, pushing in front of a train and even a whole group poisoning! What a night!
And...Joey...our skateboarding dog!
(He watches on the 'screen' as the dog skates past)
Stay tuned.....we even have our weather report - with predictions where the next murders might be most likely to happen!
(Takes a deep breath)
And, as a special event....yes, for those who have been watching me for these last ten years, you know that my contract is up, this is my last evening as the newsman of the Death Report, and tomorrow you will have a newer, younger and better looking person here.
In exchange for this fantastic 10 years of fame and fortune, and all the women, drugs and debauchery I could take, as per the original contract, I will be doing something spectacular for my last night here!
Yes, folks, you've seen it before, but tonight, I join all my former newsman in the spectacular final show - I will be ...that's right, me! I will be committing suicide - ON THE AIR!
(He throws up his hands - hearing the applause.)
Now you have seen the others, and most have chosen the traditional suicides - gun, hanging, poison – BO-RING! I say those are the past! Old school! And, since it is my choice how to do this, I have chosen a new way - one that you haven't seen before on this channel! I am going to commit - suicide by police!
How am I going to do that? Simple - I'm going out right now, into our beautiful city and start a shootin! That's right - everyone in the audience has the chance to be part of this!
I have accumulated guns, grenades - all types of blow-uppy things! And you could say - (Laughs) Sorry for the bad joke but.......I'm going out with a bang!
I am going to be traveling around shooting people - maybe even you!
(He points at the crowd)
In a theater, a mall, a store, (singing) on the street where you live!
(He indicates the side of the stage)
I'll have all my camera people with me -so if you see our KRP news truck - that's right, the one with the Grim Reaper on the side! - if you see us, come on by - you could be on the news....tonight! That's right, YOU could be famous!
(He turns to leave)
....and I have to get going now before the police come for me!
(Runs offstage, stops at the edge.)
And thank you all for making this the best rating of my life! What am I going be when I finish...Dead! Dead! Dead!
(He exits. We hear a blast of bullets and an explosion. The end)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8