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Apr. 27, 2014 Day #74 Monologue Mania
Does This Outfit Make Me Look Dead?
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(A teenage girl comes onstage – she is ……odd. Odd make-up, beyond goth. She is wearing an odd…..black dress. And she is clearly worried. She speaks.)
Hi…..I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s busy with all the others shopping, too, but could you just help me?
(She whirls around in the dress)
I know it’s tough with everyone showing off all these dresses, but I need some help…(a bit excited) ….this is my first prom!
Thank you! I was asked by this one guy, Tripper, and he’s ok, I guess, for a zombie, I mean, but I really wanted to go with this other guy, who’s way cooler…I mean he’s the coolest guy in the world!
And then I told the first guy I didn’t know and the prom is next week! So I was getting nervous, you know, and then Dmitri, that’s the cool guy, ….(sighs)…he has these beautiful blue eyes! ….then he finally asked me! (Almost squealing with delight) Oooh….it was …amazing, he looked right into me and said….’Prom?’ And I said….’Yeah’ and it was like a movie it was so romantic!
(She whirls again, remembering the moment)
So I really have to find something fast, and this was the one I like most...
Oh, I know it’s black! I want it to be black! It matches my make-up, doncha think?
(She pushes her face out and bats her eyelashes.)
Thank you…it takes a long time. I’m even gonna have a black heart tattoo!
(Thinks for a minute)
The other guy? Yeah, I told him – he took it hard, walked right into a wall. But that’s what zombies do anyhow, right? I mean, he couldn’t kill himself, could he? He’s already dead! Oh, no, (a little disgusted) I’m not a zombie! Me, I’m a vampire, and that’s why I want to know –
(She does a final twirl)
Does this dress make me look dead?
(Listens, very happy now)
Ooh, thank you! I’ll take it!
A gift? Wow! And I didn’t even have to suck it out of you! Get it? That’s a vampire joke…..I didn’t say it was a good one, but I really appreciate this! That gives me the money to save on soles……shoes that is……. Can you show me something that’ll go with this dress?
(She exits. The end, but never the end of vampires!)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8