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May 1, 2014 Day #78 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014
Yay for New Wrinkles
(for the Senior Channel)
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(The older gentleman from Day 9 and Day 22 returns - with another idea he is very excited about. He strides onstage purposefully and faces the camera and studio audience. He is holding a mirror in one hand.)
Ladies and gentlemen - I welcome you to the continuing Senior Channel show which highlights our problems and how to solve them. Since I have a great deal more time to think about things than when I was younger, I have been pondering a new issue, a new fight for us.
And it's literally staring us right in the face.
(He holds up the mirror)
I see 'em.....there they are......(booms) WRINKLES!
And when you say new wrinkles, I think that's one of those phrases like jumbo shrimp.....New Wrinkles! A wrinkle by its very definition is....old!
But with wrinkles, I am just scratching the sagging skin surface......I want everyone here to think about wrinkles.....and how they have become a symbol of a subtle, but ubiquitous ageist attitude that all seniors face!
Still don't get it? Everyone here has heard the ads for ANTI- wrinkles, right? Well, if wrinkles are a sign of deepening wisdom - why the urge to get rid of them?
Why not have a brand new cream - PRO- wrinkle cream!
It wouldn't have to be a cream, it could just be someone calling you up to remind you how old you are - with a new photo every day! And then another angle would be to have teams cataloging all the things you can worry about - personal AND global - now that's a way to make those wrinkles hatch like eggs on a KFC farm!
And we could protest all those young, smooth-skinned people in the ads! We could even kidnap one and take photos to show how old and wrinkled she really is without makeup!
Sorry, didn't mean to advocate kidnapping....just a joke, there, folks, to illustrate my main point.
Which is - if wisdom is gained through age, and wrinkles are the gift we get, why is the present so ridiculed? In other times, people revered age - wrinkles indicated you had survived! Now, the object is to look young forever! What's next? Actually living forever?
(He takes a deep breath to calm down0
So I am suggesting that we protest where it hurts them the most - we stop buying all the wrinkles creams, and age-defying systems that are just more expensive wrinkle creams, and we launch a march on Washington to protest the treatment of wrinkles! Better yet, not a march, but a marathon run......(thinks)....ok, maybe a 5K.......
And the name would be........
(He spreads his arms wide, beaming)
The Wrinkle Run!
(He turns and starts to jog off, looks back)
You can sign up on my website - Pro-Wrinkle Seniors - Take Back the Skin! Dot com.
(He exits. The end of this wrinkle.)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8