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May 6, 2014 Day #83 Monologue Mania by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2014
(from a play The Ringmaster)
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(A woman comes out singing the circus music we all know and love- da, da, da, da, da, da,da, da da, da da da DA! She is juggling, but we see nothing in her hands.)
Ooh, I think I can get another one up there.......
(She reaches into a pocket and pulls out something, throws it into the other invisible items circling)
That makes....one, two, three, four! Four eggs!
Ooh, it's possible! Four eggs!
First one.......is the oldest, he's nine, and will not do homework first....only play on the computer......
Second egg....the middle child, six,......a girl who loves to talk....and talk.....and talk!
How do I keep these in the air?
(She watches the 'eggs' as the keep going, even without her hands!)
Talk about miracles! I can even add a few....
(She throws a couple more eggs up in the air, starts juggling them all)
The baby is always fun.....six months old, just starting to crawl and get into things!
And my husband......there's a good egg......except when he's rotten, of course..... and now I put up a few more.....
(Throws another egg up)
that's my folks who are getting older by the day.....
(Another egg goes into the air)
....and how about my siblings.....
(Launches four more eggs)
......none of whom live near my parents, so it's me taking care of them, except of course when the siblings come to town and ....
They stay with me!
(She throws them all in the air, and puts down her arms, leans her head back and 'swallows' the eggs!)
And that's how it feels! Eggs -ellent!
All those eggs in the air, they are all mine….and yet, not one of them is mine!
But wait....there's more.........
(She leans over, and like a magician, takes the 'eggs' out of different body orifices - ears, nose.....be creative and see how far the audience will let this go - and throws them all up at the same time)
And now, for something truly special......
(She holds her hands up, palms open)
(She looks up - obviously the eggs are no longer moving, but frozen in mid-air. She smiles and walks around them.)
And that's how you do it!
I've seen men juggle balls and plates and even chain saws, but none of them can touch this without it all falling to the ground - without broken eggs splattered everywhere!
And then they would complain about how hard it is to juggle all this stuff, and how if you miss a few, and they break, it can make an omelet......but the reality is.....juggling life is the toughest act in the world.......except…..
(Now she seems less energetic)
When you get tired…..
(She steps back and her face twinges as things hit the ground)
That’s the neighborhood watch committee – I’m the chairman and there’s a big fight how to handle poor Mr. Rivera’s son who is getting into high school….and into drugs…..
(Another egg hits the floor)
Oops! That’s the new boss…..didn’t know she had a crazy aunt locked up and I made some silly joke….
(She cringes as it appears a lot of eggs are falling now)
There’s my poor daughter who can’t understand why I can’t listen to every word!
(Faster) And her brother who is almost a teenager now! And the mailman is new and he misplaced the letter from my old friend who is about to get married – next week!
(She is now running around trying to catch the eggs, to no avail)
And just when I started back at the gym, they decide to move five miles away! Because it’s easier for most of the new members! And….and…..and,…and…..
(At each missed egg, she shudders)
(She throws her hands up – gives up)
Maybe I should’ve married Humpty Dumpty!
(She now gets on hands and knees and starts re-assembling the eggs)
There, there, you’ll be fine in the morning – a good night’s sleep will make everything seem so much better!
(She goes to tuck in the eggs, sits up looking at them fondly)
Sleep……now that’s a good idea……
(She gets up and starts to walk out, we see her starting to juggle slowly)
Now if only I could learn to juggle in my sleep……there’s a plan!
(We hear the strains of the circus song as she leaves. Never the end of juggling!)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8