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Monologue Mania Day #95 by Janet S. Tiger M T c) May 19, 2014
by Janet S. Tiger c) May 18, 2014
all rights reserved
(A writer comes out onstage - the actor can represent this anyway they like. Waves arms around.)
(Loud and slowly) M...... T...... Two letters.....
That's what it feels like when there is nothing there. M T. Empty.
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Void. Zero. Blank. Totally. Containing nothing - not filled or occupied.
That is my brain, how it feels right now. I have a deadline.
But I can't write - because there is nothing there.
I love to procrastinate. My children are the children of procrastination.
I was given an advance for a novel to turn in on a certain date six months away. I waited. I had nothing.
Well, maybe less than nothing, as worry is something but it subtracts from your nothing so you have a negative sensation.
The week before everything was due, I got the idea, and started outlining. It was gonna be down to the wire.
Three days before it was due - I get a call from a friend - they had someone crap out on them at the last minute, could I come to New York to do an emergency re-write -and I would have to be there....tomorrow.
Lotsa money. Big lots of money. More than ten novels - but I had given my word, and worse.....I had spent every penny of the advance.
Except for the last pennies which I was using to buy coffee to get through the next days.
But they were depending on my turning in the novel -presses were waiting, publicity tours had been booked. It was..... a commitment, I had promised, and to take the other opportunity would have meant breaking my word.
So I refused the lots of money - some element of my soul had some element of honor. Boy is honor expensive!
Yet I have no regrets - because when I turned in the novel, the assistant to the editor ended up ......becoming my spouse.... and we have four kids- - and the youngest just graduated from college and told me something that made me a bit proud. He said that I had taught him well - that honor is important, and not everyone knows it, but he and his siblings did, and he thanked me.
My children of procrastination. I love them and I would not have changed one second of my life that brought them to me.
Do I procrastinate still? What do you think? This was due today!
(The writer walks offstage, smiling, looks at watch, turns back)
But it's still today!
(Exits, still today)
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8